Okay this is for all the brit supporters out there.
TRYING IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH
I just recently revealed to myself that i dont LOVE him.I like him ALOOT but i dont love him. Problem is we're already on the i love you phase. I wasnt comfy with saying it from the begining i remember but iwas soo excited about him that i just used to say it loosely.
I regret that.
Cuz now, i think he means it and i have to say it back when i know from the bottom of my heart i dont mean it. shit! Atleast because i like him alot and hes such a great guy, its not hard to sound like i mean it. I dont want to hurt his feelings so how now after three months can i start back pedalling by asking him that we stop saying 'i love you'. Let me tell you, ths is also the shit end of the stick.
And i think hes going to bring me valentine's day gifts in the office. yeah! STAB ME IN MY EYE. Let me tell you though, i love love love just how great of a guy he is but that will never equate him to being my the one. I am the full blown romantic believe me. ask anyone! But if your mind is visualising somebody else, and your heart is rooting for it, youre going to end up just like me in this mix.
I visualise alot. I like to paint pictures of my future. Like my wedding, my husband, my house, my next meal, those Jimmy Choos that will fall from the sky like manna... and when i do this visualation thing, the love of my life is a huge built tall MAN (like O'neal !!!! well not that big but thereabouts ...but if he comes looking like shaquel i wont mind), DARK skinned, so so very handsome, great teeth, CONFIDENT AND STRAIGHT FOWARD,looks good in a shirt and smells good, good heart, sharp intellect, large DI*$!, good education, funny (the usuall here)... Anyway, let me not sound too demanding but Brit falls short only on the personality profile( and a bit on the physical but thats not a probsince hes still really hot) For the most part, he is the best guy with the biggest heart but i feel as though I have a bigger pesonality presence than him. He's quiet, which is good, and i want my FOREVER to be just as calm and quiet cuz im talkative nini nini, but i wonder whether he would stand up for me in an argument you know? And I like a guy who has a presence.NOT EGO,OR ARROGANT AURA... i just hope yall get me. The best example i can give you is IDRIS ELBA. He was in Obsessed (with Beyonce), American Gangsta (as the guy Denzel shot point blank on the street) and Daddy's little girls. Thats my forever! praise the lord.
Im trying to focus on all of Brit's good, and not the bad that i dont want. So far so good but i know tht after some time i will want more and i might just bail.
Mucho Cyber Love!!!!
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