One MORE thing about the guy with the golden badge

I hope this blog will come out as clear and as vivid as it is in my mind because I am distratcted by the television and the Kikuyu radio station blasting in the kitchen. (The house help is all up in her element man, I cant tell her to switch it off).

I forgot to mention on my last that on the Thursday of Valentine's week, I came home to find my cousins from the UK and my new neice who I met for the first time since she was born in London. It was really emotional since my cousins and I hadnt seen each other for over 6 years. They looked to grown up!! and pretty... and they had a dash of an accent I could tell. LOL. To everythinh I said, Yama would say "yee"... as in, "yaa" is the way we say it here. Or when I showed her a top i had bought a week before she said "wicked". It was so much fun,lol.
so while we were still gushing over how are you's and look how much you've become pretty's, my little neice kept on shouting at her mom (my cousin), "MOMI, teddiii, Teddiii" while pointing at my bedroom. Yama shut her off everytime..so anyway i didnt pay much attiention to that.

Yama was walking infront of me as we walked towards my bedroom in search of a more confined spot spot catch up. At the rim of my bedroom window was a huge bouquet of white flowers... The first thing that cane to my mind was that Yama had brought us (my fam and me) flowers just as a sign of compassion, and that they were inmy room cuz the living room was filled with guests. But by the way she leaned back and blushed at me looking at the flowers, I knew that that wasnt it.
and then it hit me... rather lethargically, that they must have been from Brit. Burried in the fat crown of petals was a card reading,

'Happy Valentines. You tha Best'

'How adorable' I thought... 'If only i loved him'
And there was also a Teddy bear, and White Tolberone chocolates...
He remembered my obbsession with white roses and white chocolate.
My mum peeped into the room whispering "Youve seen your tu things?".. she was smiling from ear to ear. lol.


Then on valentines day he brought over three little boxes wrapped in my favourite colours, BLUE and PURPLE... and inside them were chocolates and a thong in each.

soooooo anyyyywwwaaayyyyyyyy...

I have tonnes to write about married guy but then Ellen Degeneres has started and we dont have the PVR decoder... Much much love.REALLY.

LIFE UPDATE

I HAD A BLASSSSST THIS WEEKEND.
SINCERLY.

DARK N TWISTY;AWESOME PARTY.
REALLY.

I THINK I AM SO OVERWORKED THAT I HAD FORGOTEN HOW TO GET DRUNK AND TALK JIBBERISH WITH MY OH-SO-COOL-SUPER-GIRL-CREW. (just realised im writing in CAPS)

rewind

Valentines week

I wasnt so excited. I usually am.Cuz im in my niche on Valentine's day. Despite the fact that I had a guy who is crazy about me by my side,I just wasnt into it. 'im just nOt that into him' (read the book? or seen the film?)
I dont give a hoot now for being judged.
"Oh Purple dew good men dont come that easy... Anyway, you should know." my frenemy sent that text. Stupid. So she met this good guy and all she does EVERYTIME is tell me how lucky she is. Shit! shut the fuck up!!! ( she's baby's ex... YES MY BABY.)

I know that Brit is the BEST GUY IN THE WORLD!!!! I KNOOOOOOOW. Every time i hear someone telling me that, I see this animation in my head of him standing on top of the world (in space) with a huge grin on his face and a gleaming BRIGHT GOLD MEDAL on his right shoulder reading, "THE BEST GUY IN THE WORLD!"
Mayn, I get it.
I know this though, that I am not screwing up if I leave him. His not Mine. There is some girl out there who deserves him. And Im just wasting his time.
He wouldnt hear of this though. I told him. By the pool on Sunday night at my place.
Sigh... I keep seeing my knight in shining armour in my head. ITS NOT HIM.

In the process now of finally ending this.
I love you Brit.
If it wasnt for you, I would have never believed that there are STILL good men out there. (i thought they were extinct)... ( he doesnt read this. Im just relaying this to the Universe).


SO SATURDAY NIGHT!!! FU*N
We leave black rose's house AND head to Westy. Brit had been calling all day by then since he was already there (at Bacchus)... But we went to Qs. And I wanted to go to Qs. Not bacchus and play wife.
I see DAINTY DIVA (DD) at the other end of the bar.. You mean she's back from SA!! excitement! I buy her a shot of tequilla. we do it..FIre! Her side kick shows up. She used to be like my BFF in highschool but nowadais she has a weng, and a lame attitude. This isnt hollywood hunny. She hasnt even flown out to ANYWHERE so me that weng... pleeeez.

Puppy cmes up to me and says that RUFF GURL is looking for me and that shes upstairs. another one of my highschool mates. so we go up. IM tipsy by now. As we peep onto the roof top, the first person I see belive it or not is MARRIED GUY! ahahaha! This guy i could swear was stalking me! Qz isnt even his crowd. Shouldnt he be babysitting??

Hes been hitting on me for like 4 weeks now. Its kind of weird. eugh. But i just lenga. Good thing is that he throws drinks like madddd!( my bday is next weekend i have to call him)... So i say hi. as usuall he gives me that drooling look. Smirk. I roll my eyes when he's not looking. Intro him to Puppy, hoping that he falls in love with her and leaves me alone. he offers me a cigi.

PARRRTTYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

Brit shows up.

I spent the whole night moving from Married guys table (where we were all sitting) to Brits table (he was sitting at the counter).

I got drunkkkk!!
Blast married guy and tell him to stop hitting on me. Hes all gentlemanish so he's calm and all. Kind of handsome...yeah yeah.. then he goes to brit and strats haviing a laugh with him. AWKWARD...

I glance over to my left and see puppy dancing with the lesbians from Uni and I almost colappse in shock. I had a fling of some sort with one of them and Puppy was all up in my space religiously condeming me...I didnt care cuz she (les gal) made my horny as hell at the time.

Eh, i have really typed without mpango. (sorry readers)
I am so bored at work now. have to keep minimizing this page when the bosses (which is everyone since im an intern) pass by.

I got to work today and discoverd that married guy is my SUPERVISOR!!!!!! CRINGE!!!!!
HAHAHA. HE HASNT SHOWN UP YET (PHEW). bUT I JUST GOT MY PAPERS WHICH HE IS MENT TO SIGN AS MY SUPERVISOR! SHAIT.
I love you ALLL!!!
TATA.

OH SHIT HE JUST PASSED BEHIND ME MY STOMACH TURNED TO JELLOO FUUUUUCKKKK! YALL DONT EVEN KNOW!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AAHAHHA

rainbow colors

another post for today!! I am having a great day at work. My supervisor has surprisngle loosened her leash on me. And three good things have happened to me today: I got a free sausage, won a bet for sh500 and got a chocolate from the guy of procurement upstairs.

My main agenda for this note was to post the beautiful LGBT flag in support of this community. I stumbled upon it while on cuppatea's blog and i was in awe when i discovered that they hae a flag!! how awesome!!
THey are a beautiful colourfull HAPPY and HOPEFULL lot and they are here to stay.
THere's no point in wars. Instead of having a human rights battle, lets do a human rights peace walk.
AND BESIDES, WILL AND GRACE WOULD SUCK WITHOUT WILL... AND THE OTHER QUEEN I FORGET HIS NAME.

OBSESSED IS ME (SEEN THE MOVIE?)

He's got evrything I want his yummy (human) being him!
I had a dream the other day about him teaching me how to drive ( i drive but havent ever since I got bashed 2 years ago), and on this day, as he was seated on the passenger's siT instructing me, his palm reassuringly on my thigh, he told me to drive to a certain location. And there was a house; meduim sized,not large, but cozy. and he took me inside, and told me it was our place.

"but i live with my parents now (they were in Nainja for 3 years) they cant let me move in with you" I cried.
"eis okay lov (british accent. You do know that he grew up in East London)... but you can come here any time you want. Spend the night.. we can cook there ( he pointed at the beautifuly laid out kitchen), Its got four bedrooms, and im getting a master bed for us."

I think i must have cum in my sleep hahaha. Or maybe shed a joyfull tear.

Where are you MAN OF MY DREAMS!!!!!!!

PS: SORT OF ENDED THINGS WITH BRIT. WILL KEEP YALL POSTED
i LOVE YOU ALL!!! MUCHO LOVE

BTW CUPPA, THE LGBT (lesbain gay bi tranni) FLAG IS SO BEAUTIFUL.I PRINTED IT FROM YOUR POST AND PLACED IT IN MY WALLET. I DIDNT KNOW THERE WAS EVEN A FLAG! SINCE THE SEVENTIES. TOO AWESOME

I am the Michael Angelo of my life

Okay this is for all the brit supporters out there.
TRYING IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH
I just recently revealed to myself that i dont LOVE him.I like him ALOOT but i dont love him. Problem is we're already on the i love you phase. I wasnt comfy with saying it from the begining i remember but iwas soo excited about him that i just used to say it loosely.
I regret that.
Cuz now, i think he means it and i have to say it back when i know from the bottom of my heart i dont mean it. shit! Atleast because i like him alot and hes such a great guy, its not hard to sound like i mean it. I dont want to hurt his feelings so how now after three months can i start back pedalling by asking him that we stop saying 'i love you'. Let me tell you, ths is also the shit end of the stick.

And i think hes going to bring me valentine's day gifts in the office. yeah! STAB ME IN MY EYE. Let me tell you though, i love love love just how great of a guy he is but that will never equate him to being my the one. I am the full blown romantic believe me. ask anyone! But if your mind is visualising somebody else, and your heart is rooting for it, youre going to end up just like me in this mix.

I visualise alot. I like to paint pictures of my future. Like my wedding, my husband, my house, my next meal, those Jimmy Choos that will fall from the sky like manna... and when i do this visualation thing, the love of my life is a huge built tall MAN (like O'neal !!!! well not that big but thereabouts ...but if he comes looking like shaquel i wont mind), DARK skinned, so so very handsome, great teeth, CONFIDENT AND STRAIGHT FOWARD,looks good in a shirt and smells good, good heart, sharp intellect, large DI*$!, good education, funny (the usuall here)... Anyway, let me not sound too demanding but Brit falls short only on the personality profile( and a bit on the physical but thats not a probsince hes still really hot) For the most part, he is the best guy with the biggest heart but i feel as though I have a bigger pesonality presence than him. He's quiet, which is good, and i want my FOREVER to be just as calm and quiet cuz im talkative nini nini, but i wonder whether he would stand up for me in an argument you know? And I like a guy who has a presence.NOT EGO,OR ARROGANT AURA... i just hope yall get me. The best example i can give you is IDRIS ELBA. He was in Obsessed (with Beyonce), American Gangsta (as the guy Denzel shot point blank on the street) and Daddy's little girls. Thats my forever! praise the lord.

Im trying to focus on all of Brit's good, and not the bad that i dont want. So far so good but i know tht after some time i will want more and i might just bail.
Mucho Cyber Love!!!!

STUPID GIRL

Yesterday I went for the march on uhuru highway that commemorated the life and death of Martin Njuma may he rest in peace.

By then, my feelings for Brit had gone on a plunging decline. I invited him to come for the walk with me...

Before he told me about how they (his family and he)were at a rocky financial place, i was fine with stuff such as handling the bill, using pubic transport together etc. After he told me this truth however, shit in my mind has just changed.

We were in the jav going to the venue on barichO road where the walk/march was going to begin and all i could think was, "When we get married we'll still be javing?"
And then he was wearing thos african beaded chains. I liked it...yeah, if I was 17. "Where is his golden man chain? ...?" i thought. I was goimg to introduce him to alot of high end people that day...
Yeah youre probably thinking im a total bitch, but you knw what, JUDGE ME. Had it been me reading this i would think the same.

So we got there. Met Bootyfull and her-triplet (i forget the name i gave her on my blog)
We all walked together. THere were some random side dramas happening at the event but they arent really relevant...
Her-triplet whispered in my ear, "i read your blog..."
I was glad she did so now i didint have to start explaining whats going on between me and brit. She told me she'd beat me if i left him over something like money.
I couldnt agree more.
Bootyfull on the other hand said that i cant force myself to be where i cant and if i want to leave, i should...
I tried to shove that advice aside.

The walk was refeshing. I wished i walked like that evryday. I need to change my lifestyle!

After that, we went up to the old K1 now called THE CLICK, and had a few drinks.
I was like, "arrrgh, i dont want to spend my money." a.k.a i dont want to handle the bill. What i had in my wallet was for the dentist appointment i was to have today (it was a horror by the way).
The thought of me doing that made me want to just leave.

But shock!!! He was handling the bill.

BUT...

It felt like my heart was already out the door :-(
I wasnt feelong him.
"shit purpledew, you'll never get a guylike this one!" I scolded myself.

But even as he reached in for a kiss, i hoped that it would be a quick kiss.

So I told him. That I wanted to leave him.
The excuse i used was so far fetched but he bought it.
I watched his heart break infront of me. He is so handsome :-(.
(note; i dint leave him, i just suggested it)...that sounds so stupid.

On the way home, we were quiet.
He walked me home, holding my hand while looking down. I still didn't
want to change my mind.

WE got to this tree that he likes to call my spot and looked me dead in the eye and said,
"If you leave me you'll shred life apart."
"Babe... I dont know..."i mumbled
He was choking his words by now.
"You're the best thing that has ever happened to me purpledew i told you that and i love you so much. I wioll maik you appy (his british accent had started to escalate)"

I felt TERRIBLE!!! AND I JUST WANTED TO CRY
I started to imagine myself in a reality show where brit and I were the stars and now everyone who was watching was jus thinkig how terrible I am. And then I saw myself on the show of "The Bachelor, The Men say it all" and the people in the audience were hurling insults at me. and then, i felt bad.. and i wept a little. and he, unsurprisingly hugged me.

We were now not almost separated.

This morniing he asked me if i would change my facebook relationship status when i became his GIRLFRIEND. I frowned at that last word.


STUCK.