HOME SWEET HOME?

USA was great! Just got back a week ago and I miss being on vacay. New York, DC ,Philly, plus its environs, the earthquake and hurricane Irene all aweeesomE!I am glad to be home though. Really, there is no place like home.

Adventure chronicles will not be posted on here (sorry) but I will tell you, if you r planning to visit the big apple, a must eat is Little Italy in downtown New York. Great food, great ambience very Italian and outdoorsish, and hot lush men. Carry your GPS and make a list of must sees before you go there…if you can purchase a metro card for the subway online before hand, that too would be great.

So..!!!

A month before I left for USA, Garry and I had been in communication – which may I add he was good at, unlike in our relationship where he said he couldn’t keep up with because of our time difference and distance. If you can recall, he contacted me first as I was visiting my friend *Kendra and her newborn. He asked me to forgive him for his indiscretions with my ex bestfriend, Daisy, asked if I still loved him, if I was interested in building a friendship post the drama etc etc. I was wary but I agreed. I will admit that over time my feelings for him started to resurface. Then one day, he called me and asked that we skype. I told him I would get back to him in a few min. I was scared that I would fall in love for sure once I saw him…half an hour later, I went online and for the first time since our break up in feb, I saw him. Mayn…

Imagine if happiness was a crystal sphere the size of a tennis ball with gold dust swirling inside it like a wind over the ocean. Imagine that every human born had one sole purpose in life and that was to find their crystal sphere and that each sphere was subject to only one owner. Talking to Garry that morning was like watching my crystal sphere through an inpenetratable glass. Maybe that’s too dramatic of a description…and I say that only because of the pain this man has caused me has caused my heart to harden… but nonetheless, this is how I would describe it in a perfect world.

It was all shy at first as we tried to adjust to the fact that we were looking at one another eye to eye after so long and couldn’t turn away from the camera. In a short while though, the butterflies settled. Watching him speak, everything looked so new yet so familiar. We talked for hours and hours well into the afternoon. The topic of Daisy came up and again he apologized incessantly. I told him that we shouldn’t talk about it and that I was over thinking about their fling. He said if there was anything he regretted in his life this it was that.

Speaking of Daisy, I have been getting strange feelings that I will talk to her soon/she will talk to me soon. My intuition is very strong and I trust it-not always accurate but it’s one of those things that gets better with time. Albert Einstein actually said that the intuition of a man is like a muscle that when used more becomes stronger. And then last week when I went t do my hair just after I got back, my hair salonist who is also D’s was giving me back my hair products that I had left at the salon throughout my trip and he had labeled them “Daisy’s friend”… I thought that was on omen.


Two weeks before leaving to the USA though, Garry went quiet on me. Immediately I thought that Daisy must be in his vicinity hence the reason for my gut feelings about her. I don’t know... but Garry when distracted by school, fam etc will hardly communicate with me. He didn’t even call to wish me well on my trip and so once I landed in NYC, I removed him from my facebook and decided that I would only talk to him in November (when he’ll be back) face to face. Besides, maybe he was just pre-gaming me so that he can have pussy once his back. Who the fuck knows.


Andrew. Andrew oh Andrew. So, we left it at what? I don’t rem…but just before USA I cut him off. I didn’t tell him about my trip and he found out only too late that I was not in his time zone let alone the continent. He went nuts blowing up my facebook. After a week or so I responded to him and reminded him that we are not on talking terms and should keep it that way. He flat out said NO, “we should not cut off communication” . and so after about 2 weeks I gave him my USA number and he called me every day therafter. I thought “if only he was this crazy about me when I am back home”… of course that was his way of dealing with the fact that I could just up and leave the country. He wasn’t into me as I had hoped. Despite the fact that he sent me 40,000 kes to spend on my trip.


Upon my arrival back to the 254, Andrew had to see me. He even had time on his usual “too motherfucking busy” weekday schedule. I drove to his office numb and uncertain. He burst into a smile when I walked in. he was so excited that even his assistants were wary of this Andrew. I was elated. He hugged me and kissed me and picked me up and I giggled like a 6 year old.

We had dinner that night and he brought up our relationship/flingationship. “Given my age Purple, if I date someone, say you, marriage has got to be in foresight. What’s your 5 year plan?”

“But you know I am scared to death of marriage. There is a reason why we still met given this age difference. I want commitment and after commitment and love I will allow myself to play with the idea of marriage”

“it seems we are in different stages of life Purple” he concluded and with that paid for the bill.

This weekend as would have happened before, Andrew would have invited me to his home…but he didn’t. He had an impromptu meeting in Naivasha and had to cancel. This time, unlike the past, he didn’t carry me on his business trip. Once he got back he was “super exhausted” form the trip and couldn’t meet with me. I was upset. Did he not miss me? Despite the fact that he was tired, he could have just asked me to come over and sleep next to him. In my anger I told him that “no we can’t talk tomorrow…” and so the following day he didn’t call me. This absolutely surprised me. Andrew would always call me no matter how upset or strung I was. Always. And he would not stop until I picked up the phone. Finally at night he called me and said that he would like to meet me during the week. Another weekday rendezvous that had never been a norm in our relationship/flingationship. “I will call you tomorrow afternoon and we can talk about meeting” he stated. By his tone,I can tell that this is a break up.

Sometimes I wonder why life is breaking my heart. I attract almost everything I want in my life from my phone, my job, the car I drive, cheap gym membership, to the books I read, preety much with ease but I cant manage to draw into my life a fair, pure and honest love.
Sigh…

Peace and love!
Purple.