CALL ME

Saturday Morning

Surprisingly no hangover from the ‘early night’ out with the colleagues.
My phone beeps… it’s a text message. I’m lethargic to open it.

Hey, how you doin? I’m back! Just landed


It was Andrew. This was the first of any contact he had made with me since he told me he was in Las Vegas two weeks prior. I ask him how the trip was. He’s response is brief and direct to the point. He uses a full stop every few words and I get the sense that he may not be interested in talking to me, yet he’s the one who made contact… so I go ahead and bloody say what I want to say,

That was a long trip. I shuda told you to get me an I-heart-NY t-shirt n jersey… It’s nice to hear from you again. So, you have my number handsome; ul let me know if you’re interested in seeing me again. Welcome back! Xoxo

Saturday night

I stayed home. By probably 11pm I was willingly deep in party free slumber… At 2.30am I woke up to go for a pee. I peed. And then I went to bed. Before allowing sleep to take over me, I checked my phone out of habit, in my one eye open routine so that sleep doesn’t escape my eyes and I saw ‘1 new message’. I opened it and found a text message from *Andrew;

Where are you?

The message had come in just 15 minutes before I woke up to use the bathroom.
And I respond…

Stayed in tonight. I’m in bed... I assumed he was at the rave and wanted to see

For a moment I was repulsed by his eagerness to get back to the Nairobi party scene not even 24 hours after his arrival. Plus I was still displeased by the fact that in the two weeks he was in the US, he hadn’t called me. By this time I had already crossed him from my list…you know, stopped seeing him as a potential boyfriend. The next day when I woke up fresh and early, happy to receive the Sunday morning in my cozy duvet, I check my phone to see a text from Andrew…

“So did I, how did you sleep?.” probably the first comma I’ve seen in his messages to me.

I must say I was a little surprised that he was bothered with me. So I told him I slept well and then I asked him what he was doing up at 2 in the morning texting me. He responded by saying in one short sentence-“couldn’t sleep” full stop. And I write
Oh yeah, you’re still on New York time. Oh well the world was ending yesterday so at least you would have been awake to see the second coming.
And then he responds

Ha ha ha! That’s right!

So I get the sense, once again, that he is done with the conversation and I don’t send ANOTHER text. Got up, made breakfast and in the afternoon met up with my girls at the Village Market, did a nice afternoon lunch, met a guy I was totally crushing on and then I got home and went to bed ready for another dragging week at the office.

Monday morning; 6.45am

I am downstairs having breakfast when I hear my cell ring from my bedroom where I had left it charging. I run upstairs sure that it’s my neighbor Caitlyn, calling to tell me that she will come get me for work at such and such a time. Surprise, surprise as I see Andrew’s caller ID.

Really; surprise, surprise.

He sounded like he had just gotten up and was still in bed. He said, “I have been holding my breath hoping that you would call me.”

I was thrown off track. What the hell is this guy talking about? He’s the one who texts me like he doesn’t want to really talk to me. And I never initiate conversations with guys who are still on the ‘hitting on me’ stage… I tell him I thought he was done talking to me. He has no idea what I’m talking about. He asks “what were you up to yesterday. I would have liked to meet you” and I tell him about the plan for Village Market. And he says “I woulda come if you told me”

"I cant call you Andrew” I laugh
“why not?” he asks
“because that’s not how it goes. You call me.” I explain
“okay… can I see you today? After work maybe?” he asks
“Yeah…” I respond happy as a fukn fat kid with candy
“what time?” he asks
“Well I’m going to the gym so…”
“okay, call me in the evening and we can plan it”
And I laugh…
“Or I should call you?” he asks and I can feel his smile in his voice
“Yes…”
“Okay…I will.”


He picks me up ten minutes earlier than we had planned. I like people who keep time. His car is Sexy as hell. He asks “dinner or drinks?” and I’m reminded of the buffet park date (gag) (refer to former blogs) and I say… “Maybe we have dinner while having a drink”. I wanted to sound diplomatic and mature and up to his level of intelligence. You see Andrew is over thirty. I am twenty three. He’s is a big man both physically and in the corporate world who has pretty much made it … and works out by boxing in his home gym. Hence the Mohammed Ali signed boxing gloves he mentioned over dinner. I have never dated a ‘rich’ guy, much less an older man so I was very much in unfamiliar territory. He had all the control.

At dinner as we were looking at the menus, he glanced at me indecisively and asked me what I was going to have. I said “chicken lemon w/salad?’ He looked down at the menu and mumbled under his breath that he too wanted something light but he really like the French fries the restaurant served. When the waiter came, notebook firmly in hand, I was getting ready to give him my order when Andrew beat me to it and said “She’ll have a chicken lemon with salad and red wine, sweet yes? And I will have the same but with French fries (then he looked at me and smiled) with a double gin and tonic please…” I was all over sudden fascinated by him. I had wanted a man who took the reins. A man who was confident and comfortable in his skin, a man who looked at me with interest as I spoke and yet spoke himself spoke of greater things. A man who was not afraid to put his arm around my waist and pull me closer to him and talk to me inches from my face…

The date went great. We laughed so much at the stories we shared that I soon forgot my nerves. Andrew kissed me many times that night. He had moved from his side of the table to mine to be close to me and he liked it when I let my hand wander over his back and neck. He said I was ‘smooth’ and would get a lot a** if I was a guy. I shrugged conceited, and he laughed. Outside my house he opened for me the door and kissed me. He said he would see me again, soon.

As I went to bed that night, the memory of Garry came to me. In comparison, honestly, Garry was not so mighty anymore. Andrew was bigger than him, smarter than him, more attentive and funnier. All over sudden I felt on top of the world and said a little prayer that he may fall in love with me.
The next day, I sent him a text to respond to one he had sent to me after the date but was already asleep by the time it came. He didn’t reply. At around close to lunch time, I sent a message saying,

“Now it’s me you have holding my breath for a text/call etc…”

Less than a minute passed and he called. He had been really busy and thought he had already texted me. He said he was sorry. I was extremely calm and secure and told him it was not a problem. He asked me what my day would be like and I gave him my schedule. Then he made laugh a little and said “okay have a nice day”. The rest of the day, there was no communication from him. I wondered if I was being needy. I went to the gym and eased off my stress. Back from the gym at 8pm, there was still no word from him. At 10.30pm, I was on the edge. I hated it when I needed someone. I knew all the rules of not contacting a guy if he doesn’t contact you esp at the beginning of a relationship. I couldn’t help it. I really couldn’t and so I texted him…


‘Hey Andrew. How was your day. I’m about to turn in…”

He responded immediately…

“Day good. Me too. Very tired.”

I read the text again. And again. Was he being rude or was he being his usual non-descriptive self. I couldn’t tell. I felt like a stupid girl having texted him.
This was all yesterday. Today I have not contacted him and neither has he contacted me. Its 2.57pm. Surely even at his lunch break he wouldn’t have halad…no? I don’t get it sometimes. Men are so oblivious. Then again I’m probably not on his mind now that he is not calling me at 6.45 in the a.m or texting me at 2 am at night.

Ef this.



Peace & Love
Purple

Ps: David sorta stood me up twice last weekend due to the nature of his extremely busy job and due to his ‘delay’ I went on the date with Andrew. David wont stop apologizing and asking for a date this weekend. I don’t know what to do…

POST BETRAYAL

I don’t have much purpose for this post…
I have inspiration but no purpose if you get what I mean. There is no punch line, uh-huh moment or anything of the sort.

After receiving the news last week about Dee Dee and Garry I took three days off work. Actually, let me rephrase, I got the news after I had conveniently taken three days off work. I believe that was God/Universe/The Higher Being trying to cushion my fall. Like I always say, I don’t believe in coincidence.

First day off, I spent the whole day in bed. Crying and reminiscing.

Second day off, I finally picked up David’s calls and accepted his offer to have lunch. The date was splendid as I fairly talked about in the previous blog.

Third day off, I promised myself to draw and to consolidate my music in an organized file, and also to lay on the grass of our backyard with my arms and legs spread out.

I had been looking at the grass since we moved into the new neighbourhood a month ago and had really been wanting to do that but the day that Daisy called me-the day she told me about the sexapade with Garry, I had picked her calls in the backyard cuz you know, connection issues with international calls… As I stood in the grass barefoot staring down, listening to the details of my bff and ex bf, I realized that there were millions of tiny grass bugs in the grass. I walked around the lawn looking at these minute creatures scurry around at the stomp of my foot… these little fuckers only think about food and water. And now running away from my feet… and maybe the birds…. See I am extremely TERRIFIED of insects. I would rather a warthog chase me than a locust creep up on my back. At least you can see a warthog. So that day, I didn’t lie on the grass. I didn’t want the bugs getting on me, finding a nest in my hair and crawling into my ears at night when I’m asleep, like that movie I saw when I was a kid about the Trans Atlantic Slave Trade where some white guy got a roach in his ear from the African bush and the natives had to get it out by pouring hot wax from a candle in his ear…

And I decided to have a drink instead.
Called my neighbour *Janet and we downed a few glasses of wine. I opened up to her about Garry and Dee Dee. She went into complete hysterics about why on earth I would still be talking to Daisy. I explained to her that I genuinely loved and understood her… She thought I was a loser. I am not.
Didn’t draw or consolidate my music/lyrics that day...

Garry sent me a text … said he was sorry for hurting me and ruining my friendship with Dee Dee…and that I should think of him as a bad memory in my past. Piece of shit was just trying to say that he is okay with me hating him and that he doesn’t mind if I think ill of him. That, ladies is how a mayn tells you that he really doesn’t give a shit. If he cared he would be trying his best to make sure I didn’t think ill of him. “They’re [dee dee & gee gee] probably popping champagne in the rusty Outback watching kangaroos mate”, I thought to myself that night.

I was a wrecked mess last week.

On Friday the 13th, I woke up waiting for the curses of the day to hit me. ‘’Three bad things…they always happen in threes…” I told myself. Let it just be known that I don’t believe in that stuff and that I am all about creating and maintaining positive energy ( well I try my best to)…but that day I guess I kind of wanted the shit to happen cuz I felt that way.

As the law of attraction would have it, three really shittty things happened to me. One with Baby, yes, the well known EX, the other with David, and the last with Daisy-as a result of stories a good friend of hers who’s been in love with her for forever told me.

I sent a really crude message to Baby and the other to Daisy at the height of my drunken night. It’s just marvellous that these are two people who’ve broken my heart.

The next day I woke up hangover-very familiar feeling those past few days. It saddened me what I had become and I wept in bed before realising it was 1 pm and I had a shit load to do. So I slithered out of bed partly wishing I never woke up to see another day.

I met dad downstairs shining as bright as a button and informed him that I would not be sleeping home that night; that it was Leila’s boyfriend’s birthday and I would be attending his party and given the logistics of what I had to that day and still attend the party, it would only make sense if I slept there.

I did my hair, bought Eric (the birthday boy) a bottle of ‘Magic Moments’ vodka, shopped for leggings and got a pair, briefly met with David as he was from a meeting and was heading to the gym, then home and said he would come for the party after a nap and shower. After, I planted my ‘its gana be a good night’ smile and showed up.
The house party was unexpectedly awesome…! I enjoyed myself to bits with my oh-so-cool-super-girl-crew. I missed my girls-had been a while since we had all been together like that. And I love that we are still so close after so long… After the house party we went to the club.

I think I looked preety darn good that night… in fact the whole oh-so-cool-super-girl-crew did! We’re a gang of six hottt awesome amazing ladies: Sassy, Black Rose, Puppy, Bootyfull, Leila and myself (sure ive mentioned them all before)… We have never had a fight that’s lasted more that twenty minutes long and we all have a mutual respect for one another. I was just talking the other day with Sassy that we as a click have never fallen out and that it truly was a blessing… So, here we all were at the club, making a scene with our youthful carousing and hearty revelry.

I sat on the lounge chair with this all too familiar feeling in my heart...if yal know what I mean. Around me, all my gurls (well except two who got a litol too tipsy at the house party to come) were swinging in the arms of their boyfriends. Ya’ll don’t even know what I’m talking about because I can’t describe the happiness that I was amidst. All my girls are in healthy happy relationships, all over one year old - and that’s as real and as close as I can get. I was at a freaking date night and didn’t even realise it…on my own all dolled up in my pink hugging dress and aviator heels cut low enough to show my ankle tattoo. It was nice watching them, all of them, laughing and giggling with their better halves at inside jokes, sharing and exchanging dirty looks, and then calling me up occasionally for a third wheeler dance. Oh and you shoulda seen Puppy! Christ even I felt in love just by lookin at her. See her & Daisy r who I call my best friends cuz I am closest to them, but my whole crew are preety much my best friends…That’s the happiest I had ever seen Puppy… Smiling the WHOLE night!!! The Whole night!!! Rem I told you she’s like the hottest chic in Nairobi...? She looked so beautiful and so happy that she woulda lit up my house with her glow. She was finally reunited with the love of her life after four years of separation by oceans & continents…He looked happy as fuck too. Everyone did. Bloody fantastic.

Well at least Janet was there… and she kept me company… I still had a great night. Ended up coming home tho…cuz Janet, Mandy and I r from the same neighbourhood and Mandy had her car so I hitched a ride… I could only imagine going to Aggie’s, where the party was and where everyone was going back to after the rave and having to cover my ears with a pillow to muffle the groans of moans of passionate love making from all the happy couples there. No pun ya’ll... but you know… that would kind of be hard for me.

Woke up dreading another Monday… got to work and well, its Monday night… Six pence none the richer’s playing  on DSTV radio and it feels so not another teen movie in my head right now.

David didn’t show by the way. It’s okay.

Daisy and I are not talking now… Haven’t heard from Garry since his text… I wish them both utmost misery. Well you know, if they end up together… like I hope he wakes up and doesn’t like her morning breath, or she finds his unflushed poop in the toilet as she’s going to brush her teeth… or she finds him drooling on her pillow as he snores with his mouth wide open or that maybe he wakes up and discovers she’s a night farter… mmh, I could write a song about that.

But if they don’t end up together, well, I hope that my friendship with D is fixed and that, Garry thinks of me everyday in the ‘depths of his despair’- Adele

Peace & Love
Purple

WHO'S GOT YOUR BACK: PART 2

PART TWO:
Andrew didn’t say much to me after our steamy rendezvous. I was too proud to call him first and simply tried to pick and prod the whole situation with my girls at work.

Next weekend, Anthony David was coming to town. No way on earth was I missing that concert. Gat advance tickets decided that I would wear the dress that Daisy had sent for me from Australia just a few days ago with her brother (along with Adele’s new album 21).

Concert day-I was syked. Did some errands with Catelyn my neighbor and got home just in time to shower and change for the concert. Still no word from Andrew or Daisy or Garry for that matter. I got home and changed my mind about wearing the dress. Wore leggings, ankle length boots, a top and a boyfriend jacket…

The concert was great. After that the girls and I packed my car (my momma’s car) and headed to electric avenue, aka Westy. Club number 1: Bachus. Hoped to bump into Andrew there but there was no sign of him or his car. Went to another club, same club that Andrew and me were getting busy, and by then I was drunkish. Walking into the club, I spot *David in front of us. He’s hot. Light skinned, looks like he gyms everyday by the size of his arms and tone of his thighs and is commercially too bloody cute. Not my type. For the body, I would def say it’s a yes, but the pretty boy Justin Timberlake face and light skin, naaat so much. He’s also an old friend. Been knowing him since I was 12years old and he 15. I yelled, “Omigaaad why them jeans so tight!” and my girls burst out laughing. He turned around in a staggering motion. Omigosh he cannot be drunk! For the longest time I knew David, he was a health freak and never drank alcohol. He laughed after seeing me and we hugged. He leaned on me a little longer than usual. “Jeez how’d u get so high!!!”I asked him, and he stammered “don’t judge me Purple, been a tough day”… I promised not to and said I would see him at the club.

At the club I am bored stiff. The music is pounding in my ears and the alcohol tastes like bitter herbs. I want to go home. Self pity creeps in… I start to think about how I am a single girl clubbing every weekend looking for happiness and never finding it. I’m done clubbing…I need to start drawing again. That’s what I’ll do with my Saturday nights. And now that I’m starting piano classes I can think of some melodies for the songs I’ve written. I look back at my past relationships. Baby was the last serious like, proper serious boyfriend I had and that relationship failed… and then I thought of Brit… Ya’l remember him? He was such a good man, and then I thought of motor cycle guy and then of Garry. I looked at my phone. “No more drunk texts girl please...” I pleaded with my conscience. I drunk text, “This Usher song reminds me of the day you were dancing in my house… (plus some another rubbish I wrote)” , finish, send.

David stumbled towards me. I tried to avoid eye contact. I didnt want to talk to anyone. “Heeeeyy Purple”… his eyes were dancing and his face brightened up as he smiled at me with that infectious gorgeous grin. “Looking good!” he drawled. “Thanks…” I responded looking down at my boots. “Hey Puppy!” he yelled over the music to my girl. Ahh so that’s why he’s here… Puppy’s like the hottest chic in Nairobi. I moved back tryna give him room to talk to her. But then he moved when I moved and made himself comfy next to me. “Mayn the girls in this club!” he exhaled, “wooH, had to get away, they were bugging me.” he finished, giving away his signature smile. I got a flash of the Colgate advertisement. “Well maybe if you hadn’t broken bad looking this good, you’d be sitting here with us!” I joked. He leaned into my ear… “Where is your boyfriend…what was his name…?” he looked up squinting trying to remember.

“Hahaha, Baby? We broke up a year ago! I think it will be two years in October…!” I shouted back.
“No! has it really been that long?” he asked astonished. I nodded back smiling. “it has been a minute!”
“You really loved that guy Purple.” He began. “But you were sad weren’t you? How come you never called me?”


You see, David and I grew up in the same church. When he was in his mid teens, he became an usher for the youth service. When I turned fourteen, a friend of mine who had the hugest crush on David convinced me into becoming an usher with her so that she could be close to him. At 14 I didn’t really have a type and I thought he was cute too so I said why nat. All through high school, David had always been someone I looked up to. He became head usher for the teen service at some point and I remember I used to see him like he was my boss and big brother. He said to me one day, “Purple, maybe you should get a looser fitting skirt. You know how the people from the main Church are.” I was growing hips at that age and everything I owned started to get tight. So I always felt fat and took this as an insult and never looked at David with dreamy eyes ever again. To me he was dead.

In University, we joined the same school. Girls thought he was lush. I didn’t see it. By then, if you were not dark and handsome, I never looked your way. He would come up to me and say, “Purple, call me sometime. You don’t look too happy with this guy.” This was towards the end of my relationship with Baby. I didn’t call David cuz it sounded like he wanted to preach to me. And my relationship with religion had greatly deteriorated by this time.
David kissed me that night. Three times. I kissed him back. For the hell of it. He never left my side. He made me promise that I would call him once I got home. I reminded him that I was fine and that he was just drunk and I wish him well. He said he would call me the next day to prove that he is very aware of what just took place.
He called. Wanted to see me. I was too hangover. He called again, “when r u free then, I want to show you something” “Well I want to take three days off work from tomorrow so we can plan something.” Done.

At night, I paced around my room and finally text Andrew.
“Hi Lov… So, now that I am in moderate limbo, can I just ask; do you have a woman? Am I too young? Nat you type? Maybe a lousy kisser? I can take it, really.”

Two minutes later…

Ha ha ha! None of the above. I’m in Las Vegas, Nevada!... hence my silence bayb.

“As in U.S.A?”

“Yup”

“Party scene here nat enough for you? Had to go to sin city!!! I don’t buy that excuse for the silence, but I’ll take it. Work or Leisure?”

“New York for work, Vegas for the weekend. I think you are extremely hot Purple… there was no pun intended. Pole for the silence”

“Okay, get me a chip from that place of the ‘Hangover’ (movie)..what was it, ‘Ceaser’s Palace? You rem when the retard asked the receptionist in the film… “Did he really live here? You know… Ceasar?”

“Ha ha ha! I miss your humor P. Was there last night. Bring you a chip then.”

Monday morning, I send Daisy a message. I want so much to tell her about Andrew and how I’m crazy about him and also about David. But with the way she has been acting lately, I wonder if I should even bother. But then she really gets me… and I start to feel bad. I have to fix this, I think to myself.

So I send her a message. It’s pleasantries at first but she’s almost same ol’ D! I’m excited and feel that the time is right to mention to her that there is a strain that I think we should fix. Garry should be behind us. He has no stake in defining our ten year friendship. Along the conversation, she apologizes for closing up to me and says that that is just how she is when she senses anger or judgment from people (she’s referring to the time when I lost it after she told me about Garry hitting on her). I apologized for my quickness to anger.

“Are you ready to talk about Garry” she said/texted
I had no fucking idea where this was going but responded “I’m all in…”
And she begun.

From the moment she landed in Melbourne, Garry did not leave her side. He was the perfect gentleman, opening doors for her, paying her bills, refilling her glass, cupping her face in his hands and declaring her outstanding beauty… she was confused. She didn’t like it. This was my turf, she reminded herself…and she didn’t like smokers besides. But Garry was persistent.
On the day that she had to drop her little brother at the airport to return to Nairobi, Garry insisted on coming along. So there they were like a cute family, driving to the airport. After that they went to the club where they would wait for the rest of the gang. Girls were literally chasing Garry around the club she said. He was lusted over by women in Melbourne and Sidney and he knows it.
One girl, as they were sitted talking and Garry was busy getting jealous over some other guy talking to Daisy, climbed onto a speaker and started dancing trying to get his attention. She had no panties on. Garry walked away. From the bar, Daisy looked back and saw him walk away from another bunch of girls that were all over him. He came to her with a drink in his hand for her. She was blown away at how all these girls wanted him but all he wanted was her.

Later that night/or some night… he kissed her. Over and over and over. He said that he wanted her. She declined, he groaned, “but why Dee-Dee”; he already had a pet name for her. And she said “you know why”…and with that went to bed. I assume I was the ‘why’.

The next day, they hooked up. She was ashamed and didn’t like it. She asked her friend from Sidney, Gabby, if she should tell me what she just did. Gabby warned her against it. And then she had sex with him again.

It was his birthday now. She took him bowling. At first he was apprehensive, but finally agreed to go. He turned out to be great! He even hit a strike! YIPPEE-FUCKING-DEEE!!! And then he said, “It’s all cuza Daisy”. And now! By then, they were a couple. He introduced her as his woman. And they had sex again.

One of Gabby’s friends had come along from Sidney with Gabby because she wanted to hang out with Garry. She was absolutely in love with him. On his birthday, she bought him a cake and surprised Garry at the house while Daisy was in the shower. She told Garry about her feelings for him, but he said he was feeling Dee and wasn’t interested. She took a flight back to Sidney that night.

As ya’ll may remember, Garry was to call me on his birthday, he didn’t.

As Dee Dee and G were watching movies in each other’s arms after a meal that one of them cooked for the other one evening, Sue walks into the house and stops dead in her tracks at this grotesque sight.

See Garry lived with three people in this house; Himself, Robert and Sue. Sue was extremely in love with Garry. Sue’s name was on the lease.

She marched to Robert and said, “I want that bitch out of my house!”
Garry wouldn’t have any of it. “If she leaves, I leave!” and Sue relaxed her grip. Daisy was uneasy. “Maybe I should leave” “no stay”. He was firm.

God knows if they had sex again, because she mentioned his loud snoring. Which I had told her about when me G were together…and we laughed about it. Garry said defensively, “it’s because I was sleeping on my back!” Sleeping on his back because he was holding me in his arms…

After everybody had gone back to their respective cities, Daisy stayed behind and played house with my ex mayn. Later on, she saw it fit to leave.

In Adelaide, they were eager to continue what they had started. G asked her to go online and they talked every so often. He was now pursuing a similar long distance relationship with her. Like he did with me.

“Its going to be hard Purple, but it will make us stronger.” He said to me once.


After some time however, Daisy said that she could no longer continue with the relationship. He couldn’t stop talking about all these girls that were hitting on him and saying stuff like “what are you going to do…”

By this time I was crying on my bedroom floor. It was as if the pain in my chest was too heavy because my entire upper body was on the ground, my face burning with tears. Daisy went on and on about the relationship/fling. She wasn’t holding back. Not that I wanted her to, but it hurt too much hearing all this; in detail.


My dream, my six foot one, dark skinned heavy built muscular I’ll pay for your ticket in June I can’t wait to kiss you again of a man was sleeping with my best friend.

As she lay it all down on the table for me, Garry's image kept on coming into my mind-when he undressed and stood naked in front of me, fearless; his hefty body glistening in the dark, before devouring me. An image I replayed in my mind every single day in wait of his second coming, and now she was the woman on the bed. Unbelievable.

And then I remembered the day he broke my heart. I am extremely uncomfortable with crying in front of people but I called Daisy, and she came to my house, and nursed me day after day, back to proximal happiness. I couldn’t fucking believe it. I had never felt this way about any man. Ever. And she knew this. I used to be the hugest skeptic of love at first sight, until I saw Garry. Folks, it exists.


I threw up two times that mornining. And my acidity came back.


I do not believe in coincidence.
There is a reason he came into my life. There is a reason that Daisy was there for me, and there is a reason she was the one who did this to me.

It’s been two days since I got the news. I’m much better now.


Had my first date with David. He saw my artwork and was convinced that I am sitting on a prime talent. He makes me blush and such, kissing my cheek at lunch and holding my hand under the table when I am talking. He’s absolutely gorgeous. Inside and out. He’s determined, passionate and sweet. And he believes in me. For some strange, reason, he does. I dunno why…

Andrew hasn’t spoken to me since Sunday, aka, Las Vegas.

Garry and me spoke on Monday when Daisy broke the news to me. He apologized for everything. Even for breaking communication with me that day many weeks ago. He said, “I’m not into her”... And many other things about Daisy I choose not to write on here.

Daisy and I are still friends. She apologized incessantly… I try to be empathetic to her. That she had missed being loved and Garry swept her away. She swears that she is not interested in him in the slightest bit anymore. He is immature and smokes…she says. I love Daisy… I hate that she did this to me. She had a bigger stake in our friendship and Garry was just being single, I tried to explain to her. He fucked up for sure by banging my best friend, but, I mean, if he was fucking some other bitch who am I to give a damn? D on the other hand, like I said, had a huge stake with me. And so, the betrayal lies with her. Never him.


I don’t know for sure what happened between them but just as Regina Brett said, all that matters is that you loved.


Peace and Love,
Purple.

WHO'S GOT YOUR BACK?

For oloyal who are ganna read this, go head and toss in some microwave popcorn and pop open a coke cuz this is a gana be a block buster ride…!

Disclaimer: It has been over 4 months since Garry and I parted ways. I am still in love with him.

PART ONE
About a month ago, there was this huge rugby tournament in Adelaide, Australia. The Kenya sevens team was going to be taking part and so of course the entire Kenyan diaspora in Australia would be attending.

Remember one of my best friends who I named *Daisy on here? She studies in Adelaide. And as you all well know, Garry’s in Melbourne.So… a week before the rugby tournament, Garry and me have a HUGE fight and he says he never wants to speak to me ever again. “We are cutting all modes of communication Purple!” he retorted into my ears over and over. (ref to former blog)

During the rugby tournament, Daisy sends me a text on ‘whatsapp’ (as will be our main mode of communication for the rest of this story) telling me that she just spotted G in Adelaide at the rugby after party and he was wearing the t-shirt I bought him. Garry had just gotten them into the club for free and he looked good. Et cetera … so I ask, “is he with another girl, who is he with, has he talked about me?”… this went on for… a while. I'm excited she tells me all this! And then she was back to partying.

I didn’t talk to her again that whole weekend cuz I was losing my mind thinking about Garry and I didn’t want to hear what he was up to just yet. Finally I think what was a week or so later I texted her… How was it, How was G, did he speak of me? And her response was vague and somewhat evasive. She probably thought that her response was normal but I pick up these things from people who are close to me. How we talk, has always been very detailed and lucid, and given that I was asking about the so called love of my life no-man-has-ever-had this-impact-on-me person, her formless words raised a warning sign pretty much instantly. After a few more attempts she did mention that when she brought up my name on the table (they sat together at the club) he stood up and walked off. Oooooo-ooo.

A couple of days later, after everyone was back in their respective cities, she tells me that Yes indeed, he did mention my name. He pulled her aside from the crowd and started to tell her why me and him broke up. That he wanted her to hear his side of the story. That he genuinely liked me and he meant everything he said to me, and that I am a good girlfriend and know how to treat a man, but the long distance and the realization that this was heading to a serious relationship scared him half to death and he just couldn’t go ahead with what we had planned together.

Question: what role did she have in Garry’s life that was so important that he had to defend himself to her?

She said to me, girl he really likes you. But I think G is the kind of man that you have to wait for to grow up because he is immature. You should date him when he is like 26 cuz he was oogling over chick’s asses like he was 13. I was so irritated.

Question: He is a free man, I am nat he’s woman no more and I know I gat my own fine behind so I’m nat insecure there thank the Lord ( and ma mama)…but why on earth though do you give a damn what he’s oogling over? Why were you irritated? Mmh…

A couple weeks later I am sitting at my office cubicle bored out of my mind and I start to entertain my suspicions about Daisy. I write a song, about it. And I love it. I show it to Ronnie (6ft dark chocolate candy mayn ladies I can hook ya’ll up) and he thinks it’s awesome. He says “maybe you should ask this girl you’re talking about if she’s creeping with Garry” (so he knows the whole G story but nat about Daisy et cetera) And I say “she’ll think I’m crazy I don’t have any basis for such a question” and he says as a matter of factly, “Yeah you do. Look at what you just wrote”

I took out my phone two days later, and asked her…
“Babe I need you to be real honest with me. Is Garry hitting on you?”
She took thirty minutes to respond.
“Honestly, babe, I think he is.
But I’m not sure… he wouldn’t leave my side during Adeleide sevens (the rugby tournament – and this is like two weeks later). He was always where I was, saying stuff like he doesn’t want niggaz to hit on me /disturb me, at first I thought it was because I was hanging out with his baby cousin’s friend!”
I say, “Its okay. I knew. I just wanted to hear it from you”
She responds, “OH mY GOD HE TOLD YOU?????????!”
And I’m taken a back by her surprise and say, “No, I just felt it…”

I walk to the ladies bathroom and lock the door behind me and break down. Last time I cried like that was when Garry told me that we should break up. Thirty minutes later I go back to my desk.

I ask her if she feels him, if she is attracted to him because let’s face it, Garry is fucking attractive… and she says alarmingly, “OMG no way! Purple I would never ever go there! I know what the two of you shared. He’s so immature and he smokes I don’t even like that.”

This back and forth goes on for a while and eventually I am settled knowing that she is not in the least bit interested in him.

One week later, it’s heading to Easter Holiday. Daisy is heading to Melbourne with a bunch of her friends from Sidney. I wonder if she is going to Melbourne because of Garry and think I’m overreacting. Daisy is too mature for this kind of shit. She wouldn’t do that to me. She was there for me every day when he broke my heart. That week on Thursday night, day before easter, Im out with Black Rose at Bachus drinking wine. We wanted to catch up… I’m a light weight and the wine was sweet. I didn’t realize how quick it was getting to my head. Ronnie says he’s leaving and confirms if I’m okay to go home on my own and I say “yeah of course! Thanks for everything Love.” And he’s off. Something was odd about him that evening. Black rose and I catch up…we are both drunk. The conversations get emotional…I tell her of my suspicions of Daisy and Garry. She is grounded on the fact that Daisy and I go way back and I have nothing to worry about.

At the peak of my drunken stupor, I text Garry. A first communication attempt since he lost his temper with me. “She’s my best friend G. For fuck’s sake, get with someone else”… I hit send.

I show the message to Black rose. She laughs at my spelling errors and retypes it and sends it again.

We move to another club. And then another club... I meet a bunch of other friends – my neighbours. Black Rose heads home I spot *Andrew. He looks so fly that night. He’s a huge Spartan of a man with bouldering shoulders and beastly arms perfect to lift my hips… I reapply my red lipstick and half catwalk half stagger towards him. He’s pleasantly surprised to see me. We chit-chat. God knows I can’t speak straight. He gives me his business card. “Call me sometime…” I kiss the white card stamping it with my red lipstick and ask the bar tender for a pen and write my number on the back and give it back to him… He pulls me into his arms and bursts out laughing, his entire frame shaking from laughter causing my breasts to shift with this ramble. I laugh at this. I guess he thinks I’m laughing with him… He takes the card, and says slipping it into his wallet, “Dew (he calls me by my second name), you’ve really grown up I see.” Andrew’s a friend of my cousin’s husband. We met years before when I was just 19 or 20. I was dating Baby at the time.

I get home. Take out my phone out before bed and see “1 new Message…Read?”I know in my heart of hearts that it is Garry… I open the message.
“Hi Purple. Lets talk. Stuff can really be misconstrued via text. Let me know when I can call you.”

I read the message over and over and over looking for any hint of emotion. Maybe he wants me back. Maybe we can be together now. Maybe I can go to Australia in June like he promised! Maybe I can start art classes in Melbourne and get my own place because I surely don’t want to create a strain in our relationship by living with him! A man needs his space. I read it one last time. I had no idea what the hell misconstrued meant. So I dash to my brother room to get the dictionary. He sleeps like a drunk sailor and can’t hear me knock. Fuck. It hits me like a light bulb! My damn phone has a dictionary.

Misconstrue : to misunderstand, to interpret wrongly.

I blush at my man’s intelligence.

“You can call me now.” I reply. Its 3 am in the morning, I’m drunk, but that would mean that it is 11am in Australia and that’s a good time to have a chat ain it…? He calls…before I pick, I look at his name on my phone screen and savor the moment. I had waited so long for the day I would see his number on my phone again. “Hi!!!!!!” I screamed. He laughed and said hi back.

We talked about all sorts of things. Actually I talked and he did most of the listening. I apologized for my rumbling, he said “no, no you know I like it when you talk…” we didn’t mention the whole thing with him and Daisy until I brought it up probably 10 minutes later. He hesitated. I panicked and realized that being the man that he was, he was about to get frank with me and I couldn’t bear to hear him talk about how she blows him away or anything of the sort. So I said, “No wait, Garry. I know you can be brutally honest, so I’m sorry for making you call me but, I don’t think I wanna hear it anymore.” And then there was silence and he said, “Look, let me at least tell you this, I don’t feel her and I am not at this moment in time hitting on Daisy.”

I went to bed happy that night. More so because I heard his voice again, and I heard him laugh, and heard him say my name. I wondered why he wouldn’t love me and gave up on the stupid fantasy the minute it crept into my conscience.

The next day, he called again. I was on my way out of the house to watch a play and was still at the mirror fixing my make-up. He was at some house party and was talking a little too much than usual. Asking me shit. The last time Garry cared what I was up to was when he was my boyfriend. “Baby are you drunk?” I asked half laughing. “yeah, yeah you can tell?” he asked. “Definitely… are you with Daisy?” I asked plainly. He responded too quick “Yeah she’s here at the party. She just got to Melbourne.” My heart skipped a beat and he changed the topic “text me on my birthday okay” … I didn’t want to. His birthday would be four days away and I didn’t want to go along my week looking forward to talking to him. Because I would start to love him again. I tried to explain this to him cz men just dont get such shit. And he said “Okay then I will call you.”

That whole week, I wasn’t at peace. Andrew and I chatted on phone endlessly. He was a busy man but loved his drink and despised chicks with drama and hoped to quit smoking some day. He liked my forwardness and blunt remarks.

A day after Garry’s birthday, I sent Daisy a message. I asked her if he was still hitting on her. She said that he was still treating them like a gentleman but no, he definitely was not hitting on her anymore.Another strained megs, i thot.

That weekend I met up with Andrew. At the club his white t-shirt molded his torso beautifully. True to his physique, his arms were strong and he lifted me in the elevator as we made out like post teen randys. He walked me to the car and kissed me. “Are you sure you don’t want me take you home?” I looked over at his sexy Audi and then to my gurl who had blacked out drunk in the front seat and said, “Not tonight…” “when can I see you again?” he was towering over me now… I slipped into the car when I felt his hardness on my pelvis, “I’ll call you handsome.”

The following week I tried telling Daisy about him. How I was completely lust over him and couldn’t wait to finally be with a man after 4 months since Garry and that I was worried that he might have a streak of bad-boy in him that I must avoid and so maybe I should call the whole thing off... but as had been Daisy of late, her response was empty and awkward. “awww im happy for you” she said. I hated that the whole Garry hitting on her thing had created a rift between us. I asked her how she was enjoying Melboune and how Garry was. She said he’s fine and that they had all been hanging out together her crew and his. I asked how his birthday went as it was a few days after his birthday… she said it was simple, that his friend bought him cake and that they (they being G and his friends) had been partying all week. “its demonic here!” and I responded “Celebrate your graduation babe to the fullest. Tear it down.”

( ( part two in next blog ) )