Emotion

....
Today makes it a month since Baby and I broke up. And I am on my period. The one of many many many months that i was sure I was going to get my period, u know...cuz im not getting any now

It's Sunday so let me begin from Thursday.

I got reeeally drunk. Had a good time at the pub. Met this guy had been eyeying for about two weeks... No chemistry. He was telling me about the British Army. And then he asked why I didnt sit for long (to talk to him) ...I was all over the place me and my drunkedness. And what was his name? I think Richard or Remmy or Ricky.., I told him my name was Tipsy.

So after being abandoned to ride on a piki piki in my drunken state, mscheeeeew, I fika my place... Bump into crazy M as i was trying to climb the stairs. We laugh at how drnk I am hahaha, she takes me home... i fall!! like lterally fall as i am entering the house... ouch my thigh. we laaaugh. she chills bit.. then she goes. and then silence.
I am so drunk and so lonely. I start to wish that i could google single man for hire... FOR A RELAIONSHIP SILLY!
I dose off on the sofa

BEYONCE'S SWEET DREAMS IS LOUD IN MY BRAIN!
oh crap my phone! i cant even see my bag! where the fuck is my phone ringing from!!!!!!! I stand in the middle of my living room and listen. the phone is ringing from outside. ???? okay. so i open the door. my bag is outside.

I get the phone, but then it falls... anyway when i finally grasp it i dont even check the caller ID...

"Sorry!!! sorry the phone fell...!!!" I blurt
"oh its okay!" he responds
oh fuck.
I CHECK THE CALLER ID! "ex.factor" aka BABY.
"Hi!!" i shout into the speaker i dont know why
HIM: "Sema. I was just checking up on you..."
ME: "Im good(or something i think i said)"
HIM: Are you drunk?
ME: "hahaha abit"
HIM: "you cant even hala to tell me success on my exams?"

So we talk... and taaaalk. By this time ive switched to ORANGE (cheapest calling network in Kenya- YEEEEESSSS) and we talk for over an hour.
I know I am ment to be moving on and whatever but he came through you know. I really needed someone around and he called so, shoot me. I dont regret.
I find myself agreeing to him coming the next day...

"But Baby you said that you have a paper tomorrw at 1pm..." I ask/state
"I can come early..."
"how early?"
"How eary do you want me to come?"
....

7.45am- Friday
The three-knock. (ref to former blogs)
Im GROGGGGGGYYYY.

When i open the door after ten years his shoes are aleady off and hes back if facing me as he is leaning off the balcony. MY HEART POUNDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

ANYWAY.

He comes straight to bed, and no we werent going to have sex but he said he 'just wanted to come and hold me' and i wanted to be held :-). And then, thats WHEN the holding turned to kissing and the kissing to emotion and the emotion to nudity and the nudity to sweet penetration and mygod was I wet. I swear, it had never felt so good. i swear.
wololo!
Anyway, he got out because we werent condomizing (lol wat a word) and i think that gave us time to think. The condoms were right there...I wanted him so bad but we didnt go on.

HE went for his paper and then went to library to prepare for his next one. Then I joined him at the lib but to meet with a friend of mine who we were ment study for MY paper with. He came to say hi. He kissed me on the forehead. He went back to his table upstairs. He texted me telling me I smelled good. Before his paper he came to say bye. Sweet things.

At night, he tried to kiss me. we were in public. I moved away jokingly sayin that I cant let people see us together. And that opened a can of worms!!!!
So as expected the next day he came to school fr his last papers and I could tell he was edgy. He later confronted me about how what i did hurt him. He also said that he saw it comong becasue all day the day before he saw it that I really have left him. And that I was detaching. And that when we had our last fight and i broke up with him he thought that it was just a fight and that we would end up together again as we always did and when he came over the day before he thought that that would be it...but I was 'detached'.
And... get this...that I am embarassed of him eti becasue i didnt want to be seen with him! Eti I want a better guy thats why i was ashamed BLOOOOODY HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its cuz if people saw us together theyde think im tha stupid girl going back to a miserable relationship. I HATE HATE HATE LOOKING WEAK.
He was so firm on his stand then i became angry and he became rude and i became bitchy an we fought urgh. stupid boy. we concluded and i left 4 home almost crying. then he followed me... i mean if youre bored by now reading this stop cuz the same shit recurrs aaaalll night.

Finally he leaves. I make it clear that he wasnt a booty call but i dont want us to get back together.

Moving foward..
Theres a guy sort of in my life. His name is Blast From The Past (BFP). Knew him in Primary school. Had a crush on him but he was in 6yellow and I wa in 6green so i hardly saw him.And then me and Gitush started dating...
I dont want to Jinx it so letme leave it at that.

PS: AlienBubble, Curly fries and gaypeace, thank you for youre sweeet emails and all. My nights arnt so lonely cuza yall. much love