The Makings

FINALLY im seated infront of my laptop blogging... long time. It's so hot outside krist! I wish I could have sex rite now...with ice cube props.

Oh man, oh man, alot has happened in the past since-the-last-time I published something.I went to coast, hot bar tender bought my cousins and I drinks everytime we drank at their (cousins) hotel...I lusted over him yummm,got back, started my schoolsemester and so on >>

Last weekend, I FINALLY HAD THE STOMACH TO END THINGS WITH BABY!. Omigod we was Furious!!!! maaaaddddddd!! He sent some really awfull texts; like I dont even know how hw went off talking to me like that...! Anyway, after he talked shiiiiit I sent him a text saying 'lenga sending such txts to me.' ANd then I didnt talk to him again.

Lately, theres been a weird oddness in my so-cool-super-girl-crew. LIke have you ever walked into a room and known that the poeple there were talking about you even if it was two hours after? yeah, that weirdness. Like a couple of days ago,X made this snicker when I said something. Ew.. Blair woldorf is a fictional character you know...Its a mockery to try and be her. and then there was this time I walked up to Y and Z... that awkward glare/air of 'we bitched about you'... Fake hi how r uz... Y is really good at hiding it but Z isnt, so i could feel it. W has been checking up on me all week cuz of the break up n all so when i mentioned it to her she said "youre noticing now!" and then W metioned it to B, B called me and told me to get used to it. Whoa, okay!! lol. It doesnt bother me too much, jst a little. Probably because I have alot going on right now and my neighbour,CrazyM has so much syke for the world shes always over here giving me her latest vibe. Plus, W and B and em Puppy...are cool with me and thats a relief.

So on Friday as usuall B called me. She shouts over the phone its hillarious. I wasnt really down for a plan so i just told her not to come for me. I dont have class on friday and my cousin Mirror spent the night and >>> anyway, mirror had class so I had to go to skul and give her the jewellery she left at my house. we had had a crazy thursday. My ex and his friends and I and Mirror drank like maaddd and then they all came to my house and we drank some more and danced then the alcohol ran out, then thw boys went to get some more and then we drank some more. yeeshhh i was so hangover friday. On my way to school I kept thinking i was going to bump into Baby. I could feel it in my soul that he was just around the corner. I wanted to bump into him i think. So that he could see me and then Ide walk off with an attitude.
Well it didnt happen.

Friday night- 2am
I hear men's voices outside my bedroom window. Im convinced it thugz. shit. Then theres a knock on my front door (azif i have a back door)... That three-times knock (reffer to former blogs). okay, so its Baby. SO i shout "(his name)???"
"Yeah its me."
( what the fuck!! has he come to see me? so he's missing me! why has he come with our watchie?)

I open the door. My eyes cant even adjust to the light (lightbulb).
"What are you doing here?" I ask,as if im not somewhat glad to see him. he looked really cleaned up. shaven. all black...crisp shirt.. cologne..
"Beau,Ive come with him (watchie) incase you beat me up... and incase you let me in the watchie can go tell the cab guy to go."

I dont know why I got angry at him all over suddden.( kwani he thinks he can just come here anytime he wants). MAybe its becasue he didnt come on a horse, and a shining armour.
"(his name) uve come for a booty call...!" i demand

he kept quiet... then came closer to me...slowly... as if he thought Ide slam the door. and then he said "purple due, my mom isnt getting any better. her results are back... I dont want us to shag. can we please talk?" his voice was shaking!! my heart melted. INSTANT. I didnt show it. but i let him in.
We talked for about an hour. Mostly about how things at his house are terrible. Its so so so sad. his hoome is an emotional hell. I'de never seen any man that destroyed. not even on TV. Oh man. I could cry just remembering. We slept together. cuddled. I was half skeptical half liking it.
He was kissing my face...over and over...I slept.

Next morning I made breakfast. we were chatting alot! it was so nice. he was telling me how the day before when he was in school he was hoping he would bump into me. eti he weent to all the pubs around school hoping to see me :-) hahaha. I didnt dare tell him that the same thing happened to me.
Anyway, when I was making the bed, he was gettn ready to go to school and the moment we were silent I asked him if we could have a sit down... Then he said " Please, not today. Can we just enjoy this?"
Emotional BlackMail!!
"okay" I responded understandingly.
SO THATS WHERE WE ARE NOW... ENJOYING THIS FOR NOW... IM SO CONFUSED!!! I was ready to move on. I mean i still love him to death but, i was ready to just be alone. I feel like Kourtney (kardashian)... That episode when Scott appeared in Miami.

:-) :-) :-) but i dont mind. Lets just see how this plays out.
Haiya. hes just called lol
Ciao!!!