It’s been one hell of a ride with this one… But it looks like I am still here (there) (everywhere)
After the emotional weekend, this is an email he sent me on Monday night after a tennis match conversation we had over the phone; during which the phone line connection between Nairobi and Melbourne was crystal clear.
I wondered if it would be necessary to post this.
I believe it is. Just so we can understand where I am. Mentally, Emotionally, Psychologically.
I decided to ask him if it would be okay to post his ‘letter’ (so he calls it) ONLINE…I tried to ask on Tuesday, I couldn’t…I tried on Wednesday and on Thursday night I just blurted it out. Garry is a private person. Doesn’t like his personals aired in public.But then he said “Yeah, go ahead.”
I was pleased :-)…
I did delete a paragraph that I thought was too intimate (for yal to read :-p ) but I have not edited anything else- spelling errors and all.
This should be the last deep and detailed blog about Garry and me.
We are however, now pursuing a happily ever after.
With Love,
Purple
The truth is what this letter is about. No lines no nothing, just you and me.
Saturday night party at my place. Having loads of fun, I knew it was my last night!
Wanted to keep the night out low key say bye to the friends on the rave and Kenya.
But your bro is like “lets go to my place for more drinks?” I change n were off. We fika and
I notice u doing ur art work on the floor but i honestly thought u were covering books....
Nwa I dint take much notice. Later on Im with the fellaz kicking it on the balcony then you came, kind of noticed! Next time I saw u, u were drinking on the round table, i looked again. But i wanted a closer look so i went to the kitchen n thats when we first talked i was like she ait.
Went out to party some more, our paths crossed again(i remember bits and pieces). Truthfully when we went to the ride i was only interested in feeling on you. I was tipsy. Really dint give a fuck, But Hold on when our lips came together energy flowed out from you into my heart which i had chained up and i felt it sparkle. That wasn’t it yet.. I thought to myself this is the perfect last night fling for me before I go. We had sex. During that u told me “look at me." i did more than just look, i saw your beauty. Bado..
WHen I really Started FEELING U was when we started talking we argued a little, joked, flirted ,cuddled and fell asleep. Im thinking wow this is such a nice mama but o well i just have to sahau her. Not actually realising whats going.... I dropped you home knowing thats the end of that, but the problem was 1nce i left couldn’t stop thinking about you. I love how your skin smells forget about perfume, you have this amazing natural smell even if i asked you what perfume you wore and sprayed it,it would be empty coz your scent isn’t there.i loved it so much.
I wasn’t coming to see you l8r on that day, i was supposed to be spending quality time with the folks it being my last day. But i had to see you. I opend your door and there you are dressed in blue laying calm on your bed, the sun rays infused with the curtains and gave the room such a romantic colour and mood. I sayed Hi, you smiled and welcomed me like im the MAN. What a feeling we hugged and kissed and the process of me realizing what i feel for you began. We spoke and i began seeing you beyond your physical, im into the person inside. The way you talk, your attitude, charisma, camaraderie im just astonished how much i like the person, we touch we kiss and thats when the chains i put around my heart disappear. I gaze into your sexy eyes and a rollercoaster of emotions travel through my body. Im scared cz i dnt no what the fuck im feeling. I try to fight it cz i no im not the the type of person to fall for anyone ever. But this round the heart won the mind. You kiss my eyes and i totaly flip. WTF WTF WTF. Simple delicate kiss but it means so much to me.
I dint want to leave but i had to. Distance was separating me from some1 really special but i had to. We spoke and for the 2 days i travelled 'Purple' my darling your all i thought of. Someone like you doesn’t come around everyday i know i have searched.
As i told you before i have never been in a real relationship. I always get scared confused and back out or just avoid them, Over the years i have developed the art of shutting any i want out of my life. Very selfish not caring about any1 but myself which is wrong. Your telling me about your bad Karma? i have treated mamas in the past like dirt-use and abuse. So iv been running knowing my day will come. But i cant keep thinking like that. I live once, i decided to stop running and man up.
The past weekend when i hurt you, that was me being confused. I care so much about u and i have to be sure what i feel for you is real before i can commit myself to you because i care about u so so much and it grows everyday. But i would rather not be with you than to be with you only to break you. Im new at this and super confused. I really don’t want to lose you coz you the full package. I love the way u always call text, the concern and compassion you show makes me want to live forever. I feel the same but i have to learn how to express it coz i haven’t before. Somtimes i need space sometimes i feel like running hopefully youl learn how to handle that situation. I don’t know this or that but i know ur part of me.
Peace and love Ya'll
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
HALTED
“Baby, baby, baby
From the day I saw you
I really really want to catch your eye
There's something special 'bout you
I must really like you
Cause not a lotta guys are worth my time
Ooo baby, baby, baby
It's gettin kind of crazy
Cause you are takin over my mind”
You don’t know my name
“I know you have said to me
This is exactly how it should be when it’s meant to be
Time is only wasting so why wait for eventually
If we gon do something bout it
We should do right now”
Unthinkable
“Well you could try sleeping in my bed”
Try sleeping with a broken heart
ALICIA KEYS
One day he was telling me that he was online looking at the rates for airline tickets, asking me of I was sure coming in June was okay because it would be winter in Melbourne, asking me if I’m okay with him calling me in the middle of the night because it would be morning in Melbourne and he wants to hear my voice… and then a couple of days later, I happily and naively ask if he’s going to ask me to be his valentine and he chats back (on gmail chat) “Maybe…(smiley face)” – Warning.
Two days, silence – Warning
I called and ask why he didn’t call me when he said he would
“I told you I’m not very good with communication. I told you this wouldn’t be easy. The time difference is a killer. I’ll call you later”
Later. Two days and one night later...
I’m angry that he hasn’t made any sort of communication whatsoever until now. Not even a text to say I miss you or have a nice day. Nothing.
In a moment of vulnerability, intense emotion, sadness and a tang of booz, I send him a text asking if he’s still waiting for my answer as to whether I want to be his girl. Do you still want be my man? I will be good to you and love you. Call me tomorrow, anytime; day or night”
Next morning, he calls and I run out of the apartment in the hope of getting a clear connection cuz the lines between Nairobi and Melbourne are a nightmare.
“Call me back in a minute babe. Let me run and get the keys to the pool house cuz the network is much better there” I exhale
“Okay”… he mutters.
One minute later, my phone rings again.
“Heelloooo ” (happiness)
“Hey… So how was XYZ last night?” he asks
“It was okay. I came home early though. Still not in the party mood”
“You should have fun Purple. Why would you want to stay home?”
This sort of takes me aback. Why is he talking like that? And doesn’t he like that nowadays I like to stay home. What’s going on with him lately.
“Well did you get my text last night?” I ignore his comment and try to save the conversation from a fight
“Oh yeah. I did. It really jazzed me…”
“okay”
“yeah..”
“And…?” at this point, pain starts to creep into my heart.
And then he says something and I don’t quite hear what. After that, the whole conversation turns to ati whats and please say that again’s
“I’ll call you when I get a better connection” he yells into the speaker
“Wait!...and when is that going to be? You have been quiet of late. I text you and you don’t reply. I email you, no response. I mean and now you’ve called me for 2 minutes and your fine with not talking to me till God knows when?”
“Purple, I WILL call you!...Okay. In the evening. Your time. Today.
“Don’t call…” I mumble
“Come on what is it?”
And I begin explaining how he’s 8 hours ahead of me and he never communicates until its night in Nairobi, meaning he goes through his whole day not halaing at me. In the while, im at my office at 10.00am saying to myself, “It’s six pm in Melbourne and no text, no email, no inbox from Garry all day – his day”. I also point out that I had to ask his cousin the other day Jeremy (also in Australia) to tell him (Garry) that I want to talk to him (this was before he had his own phone line. I mean what if I never texted Jeremy, would we even be here talking today?
“So as in Garry, just don’t call me if you’re not going to try and communicate better” I finish, fingers crossed, legs crossed, heart crossed, eyes shut…
“Okay.” And the line goes dead.
I look at my phone. Did he just hang up on me?! And then my eyes get hot and I’m stung by the gush of tears.
I start to panic! Should I call back? Oh my God. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.
I call back. He doesn’t pick. I hang up. Fuck. Now I’m crying and breathing heavy...I turn my face away from the windows of the apartments facing the pool area and I stare at the river running below. Nairobi River…Black, polluted, and moving in a slow miserable almost dead slither.
My phone rings! I almost drop it. The number +614 never looked so beautiful.
“Babe did you hang up on me?” I cry
“No.” he lies. “Try and enjoy your day today ok. I’ll call you when I have a better connection. Or maybe tomorrow” And the phone goes dead again.
I didn’t even get to say anything…
Can I just say, that that was the worst day I had since I found out Baby was cheating on me three years ago.
Do I need to explain how long I cried? i can smell a break up from a planet away.
No wonder he was silent. No wonder he just suddenly isn’t good with communication. He’s not feeling me anymore!
But he asked me to be his girlfriend. And what about the airline tickets he was looking at? And the whole “I have never connected so well with anyone before” speech. And what about when he asked if I still sleep with his sweater? And when I mentioned that I could go to Melbourne for my masters instead of Philladelphia/New York (mY dream!), he was ecstatic. Where did that go???
In matters of the heart I always prefer to suffer in silence. But I couldn’t this time. I called *Daisy. Literally waking her up and just bawling. I mean she had no idea what was going on, she was trying to understand me while still trying to be sympathetic and I was just throwing phrases like “You see what I mean!??” and “I don’t understand why”. Very unnatural place for me; crying on someone’s shoulder, but so is seeing the man of your dreams, have him see you and lure you into his cask and then roll you down the hill while you’re still in it.
On Sunday, I can’t stand the silence and uncertainty. So I text
“Better connection today?”
He responds, “Call you in 30 minutes”
I calculate the time difference; it’s about 8pm in Melbourne… He must be at home... I think. Who knows. I don’t know him…!
The phone rings…I get this sick sick feeling at the pit of my stomach. I pick.
“Hello?” I try to sound cheerful
“Hey beautiful…”
“how u doin?”
“Oh well you know…mild hangover. Just chilling” His accent is going in and out: Kenyan and Brooklyn New York-ish
“Okay… so… um…” I start
“Yeah… Mayn, I don’t know what’s going on…” And then silence
“You don’t know what’s going on?” he starts to test my temper
“Yeah. Like… I don’t know. I don’t think this going to work out Purple”
Do you remember how you felt when you did your KCSE and you were on your way to school to pick up your results. The results that teachers, parents, cousins and just about everyone who had authority over you said would determine your LIFE forever… Do you remember how it felt when you were walking up to the office to pick your result’s slip and what was racing through your mind when you were ripping that envelope? How your eyes tried to stabilize as you read the grade at the bottom of the transcript? The feeling just before you saw your grade?
That feeling, everyday, for a week combined with the terror that engulfs you just before you realize there’s a speeding truck about to slam into your car and you’re in it; that’s how this felt.
My heart BROKE.
See, I am aware that I don’t even know Garry. That we met once and I fell once. I realize this. I’ve met tones of guys and been in useless relationships and moved on with my life without a hiccup (I mean u have been following my blog yes?) but Garry…! This was my forever.
I had decided to write down an extremely detailed list of the kind of partner I wanted. You know, like they tell you to in every other self help single-girl book there is in the world. And that list would make my heart skip a beat whenever I thought of ever possibly meeting this Man. I’d settle because I liked a guy and I’d let myself be wooed and you know relationshiped just cuz well, he was there and I did have feelings for him. Is there love at first sight? Absofuckingloutley. I’ve watched people talk about it, I’ve read about it etc and I believe in it. When I first saw Garry, this is exactly what happened to me. I told him he was the first guy I had ever met who I liked everything about. Even his ugly toe.
I woke up last night at half past 2 because I heard my brother’s phone ring/beep when a message came in. His room is across the hall from mine right, and it woke me up. I thought it was my phone. I thought it was Garry texting (because surely, he doesn’t want to wake his Queen by calling) to tell me he just realized he made a huge mistake. Ten seconds later I was swimming in a salty ocean of tears and unbearable pain. And so I prayed, “For whatever reason You let Garry come into my life, and for whatever reason he now doesn’t what to be with me, please, take this pain away…I’m begging”
I opened the messages in my phone. One in particular saddened me the most. I had texted him saying that I had never heard of a long distance relationship working and he had replied “Neither have I baby. But what to do…? I want to be with you” He did want to be with me.
Yeah? I donno
I don’t know what changed his mind.
Here I go again.
Hello 2011. Please, take me slow.
Peace & Love Yall
From the day I saw you
I really really want to catch your eye
There's something special 'bout you
I must really like you
Cause not a lotta guys are worth my time
Ooo baby, baby, baby
It's gettin kind of crazy
Cause you are takin over my mind”
You don’t know my name
“I know you have said to me
This is exactly how it should be when it’s meant to be
Time is only wasting so why wait for eventually
If we gon do something bout it
We should do right now”
Unthinkable
“Well you could try sleeping in my bed”
Try sleeping with a broken heart
ALICIA KEYS
One day he was telling me that he was online looking at the rates for airline tickets, asking me of I was sure coming in June was okay because it would be winter in Melbourne, asking me if I’m okay with him calling me in the middle of the night because it would be morning in Melbourne and he wants to hear my voice… and then a couple of days later, I happily and naively ask if he’s going to ask me to be his valentine and he chats back (on gmail chat) “Maybe…(smiley face)” – Warning.
Two days, silence – Warning
I called and ask why he didn’t call me when he said he would
“I told you I’m not very good with communication. I told you this wouldn’t be easy. The time difference is a killer. I’ll call you later”
Later. Two days and one night later...
I’m angry that he hasn’t made any sort of communication whatsoever until now. Not even a text to say I miss you or have a nice day. Nothing.
In a moment of vulnerability, intense emotion, sadness and a tang of booz, I send him a text asking if he’s still waiting for my answer as to whether I want to be his girl. Do you still want be my man? I will be good to you and love you. Call me tomorrow, anytime; day or night”
Next morning, he calls and I run out of the apartment in the hope of getting a clear connection cuz the lines between Nairobi and Melbourne are a nightmare.
“Call me back in a minute babe. Let me run and get the keys to the pool house cuz the network is much better there” I exhale
“Okay”… he mutters.
One minute later, my phone rings again.
“Heelloooo ” (happiness)
“Hey… So how was XYZ last night?” he asks
“It was okay. I came home early though. Still not in the party mood”
“You should have fun Purple. Why would you want to stay home?”
This sort of takes me aback. Why is he talking like that? And doesn’t he like that nowadays I like to stay home. What’s going on with him lately.
“Well did you get my text last night?” I ignore his comment and try to save the conversation from a fight
“Oh yeah. I did. It really jazzed me…”
“okay”
“yeah..”
“And…?” at this point, pain starts to creep into my heart.
And then he says something and I don’t quite hear what. After that, the whole conversation turns to ati whats and please say that again’s
“I’ll call you when I get a better connection” he yells into the speaker
“Wait!...and when is that going to be? You have been quiet of late. I text you and you don’t reply. I email you, no response. I mean and now you’ve called me for 2 minutes and your fine with not talking to me till God knows when?”
“Purple, I WILL call you!...Okay. In the evening. Your time. Today.
“Don’t call…” I mumble
“Come on what is it?”
And I begin explaining how he’s 8 hours ahead of me and he never communicates until its night in Nairobi, meaning he goes through his whole day not halaing at me. In the while, im at my office at 10.00am saying to myself, “It’s six pm in Melbourne and no text, no email, no inbox from Garry all day – his day”. I also point out that I had to ask his cousin the other day Jeremy (also in Australia) to tell him (Garry) that I want to talk to him (this was before he had his own phone line. I mean what if I never texted Jeremy, would we even be here talking today?
“So as in Garry, just don’t call me if you’re not going to try and communicate better” I finish, fingers crossed, legs crossed, heart crossed, eyes shut…
“Okay.” And the line goes dead.
I look at my phone. Did he just hang up on me?! And then my eyes get hot and I’m stung by the gush of tears.
I start to panic! Should I call back? Oh my God. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.
I call back. He doesn’t pick. I hang up. Fuck. Now I’m crying and breathing heavy...I turn my face away from the windows of the apartments facing the pool area and I stare at the river running below. Nairobi River…Black, polluted, and moving in a slow miserable almost dead slither.
My phone rings! I almost drop it. The number +614 never looked so beautiful.
“Babe did you hang up on me?” I cry
“No.” he lies. “Try and enjoy your day today ok. I’ll call you when I have a better connection. Or maybe tomorrow” And the phone goes dead again.
I didn’t even get to say anything…
Can I just say, that that was the worst day I had since I found out Baby was cheating on me three years ago.
Do I need to explain how long I cried? i can smell a break up from a planet away.
No wonder he was silent. No wonder he just suddenly isn’t good with communication. He’s not feeling me anymore!
But he asked me to be his girlfriend. And what about the airline tickets he was looking at? And the whole “I have never connected so well with anyone before” speech. And what about when he asked if I still sleep with his sweater? And when I mentioned that I could go to Melbourne for my masters instead of Philladelphia/New York (mY dream!), he was ecstatic. Where did that go???
In matters of the heart I always prefer to suffer in silence. But I couldn’t this time. I called *Daisy. Literally waking her up and just bawling. I mean she had no idea what was going on, she was trying to understand me while still trying to be sympathetic and I was just throwing phrases like “You see what I mean!??” and “I don’t understand why”. Very unnatural place for me; crying on someone’s shoulder, but so is seeing the man of your dreams, have him see you and lure you into his cask and then roll you down the hill while you’re still in it.
On Sunday, I can’t stand the silence and uncertainty. So I text
“Better connection today?”
He responds, “Call you in 30 minutes”
I calculate the time difference; it’s about 8pm in Melbourne… He must be at home... I think. Who knows. I don’t know him…!
The phone rings…I get this sick sick feeling at the pit of my stomach. I pick.
“Hello?” I try to sound cheerful
“Hey beautiful…”
“how u doin?”
“Oh well you know…mild hangover. Just chilling” His accent is going in and out: Kenyan and Brooklyn New York-ish
“Okay… so… um…” I start
“Yeah… Mayn, I don’t know what’s going on…” And then silence
“You don’t know what’s going on?” he starts to test my temper
“Yeah. Like… I don’t know. I don’t think this going to work out Purple”
Do you remember how you felt when you did your KCSE and you were on your way to school to pick up your results. The results that teachers, parents, cousins and just about everyone who had authority over you said would determine your LIFE forever… Do you remember how it felt when you were walking up to the office to pick your result’s slip and what was racing through your mind when you were ripping that envelope? How your eyes tried to stabilize as you read the grade at the bottom of the transcript? The feeling just before you saw your grade?
That feeling, everyday, for a week combined with the terror that engulfs you just before you realize there’s a speeding truck about to slam into your car and you’re in it; that’s how this felt.
My heart BROKE.
See, I am aware that I don’t even know Garry. That we met once and I fell once. I realize this. I’ve met tones of guys and been in useless relationships and moved on with my life without a hiccup (I mean u have been following my blog yes?) but Garry…! This was my forever.
I had decided to write down an extremely detailed list of the kind of partner I wanted. You know, like they tell you to in every other self help single-girl book there is in the world. And that list would make my heart skip a beat whenever I thought of ever possibly meeting this Man. I’d settle because I liked a guy and I’d let myself be wooed and you know relationshiped just cuz well, he was there and I did have feelings for him. Is there love at first sight? Absofuckingloutley. I’ve watched people talk about it, I’ve read about it etc and I believe in it. When I first saw Garry, this is exactly what happened to me. I told him he was the first guy I had ever met who I liked everything about. Even his ugly toe.
I woke up last night at half past 2 because I heard my brother’s phone ring/beep when a message came in. His room is across the hall from mine right, and it woke me up. I thought it was my phone. I thought it was Garry texting (because surely, he doesn’t want to wake his Queen by calling) to tell me he just realized he made a huge mistake. Ten seconds later I was swimming in a salty ocean of tears and unbearable pain. And so I prayed, “For whatever reason You let Garry come into my life, and for whatever reason he now doesn’t what to be with me, please, take this pain away…I’m begging”
I opened the messages in my phone. One in particular saddened me the most. I had texted him saying that I had never heard of a long distance relationship working and he had replied “Neither have I baby. But what to do…? I want to be with you” He did want to be with me.
Yeah? I donno
I don’t know what changed his mind.
Here I go again.
Hello 2011. Please, take me slow.
Peace & Love Yall
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
TWENTY FOUR HOURS
TWENTY FOUR HOURS
When I went up country for Christmas, something changed in me. More like, settled in me. I didn’t know if it was permanent or temporary, but I liked it.
*Daisy and I had promised each other that we would be each other’s dates for new year’s eve. If you’ve been keeping tabs on my blog, you know im single. Daisy is also single, and let me just say I am so proud of her for leaving her ex! He reminds me so much of Baby!!!
However when 31st came around I wasn’t feeling it at all. The rave that is. So many times in the last 2 months I have gone out and im like, “why am I here…” (on the rave). I didn’t have a man, the men on the rave were just not for me… and yeah, I was looking for a man. A lover , a friend, a companion. I knew what I wanted.
I would find myself staring into space, (on the rave) with this feeling of dread and loneliness and suddenly, I would want to go home. And when I got home, I was so happy to go to bed. This happened so many times and when I had enough of it, I just stopped going out. Again, whether it was permanent or temporary I didn’t know, but I was liking it
I started to think what I would replace this time with… the Friday and Saturday nights. Movies, my art, and … well that’s all I had. I was tired of the night scene and if anything, I have been a single girl partying for almost a year now and not met the kind of man I wanted. So if I changed my scene, maybe I would find my man right? Sounded convincing to me. Whatever. Man or no man, catch me dead on the rave on New Year’s Eve.
I ditched Daisy on 31st. I felt really bad because I would have loved to go to Naivasha with her but I also knew I would wind up being the party pooper; quiet, lonely, and lost in fantasy.
That night I stayed home alone with five candles, popcorn and Gabriel ‘coco’ Channel’s life story movie. I enjoyed myself to bits! At midnight, I watched the fireworks from my balcony, kissed my imaginary boyfriend and went to bed at 1 am.
On January 8th, 2011, I opted to leave Quinnz (after the rugby game at impala) before nightfall cuz I wasn’t interested in partying. I got home. What to do… decided to take out my art work. My parents were away for the weekend and so my brother *David was not home, and neither was the car…more time for me then. I spilled my art supplies on the floor and started to construct a view finder. It was ridiculously demanding and I was sweating and cursing but I loved it. At 10.30 pm David strolls in with the house shopping (really at 10.30?!!), tiptoes across the mess ive made on the floor and informs me, rather than asking, that he is having four friends over for a few drinks. I was cross with him!!! All my shit was on the floor and I was already half way and if I moved it would mess everything I had been working on. After an argument though, his boys were coming.
Ten minutes later, you could hear loud late night revelries from the parking lot. Surely I hadn’t even moved my stuff. A second later the door bell rang and a huge influx of youth splurged into the living room. This wasn’t four people. This was more like fourteen people!!!
Everyone was nice though, even the drunkish girl who walked over me rushing to the toilet as I was tried to pick up my art supplies. A few minutes later David was pouring me a drink and I was in on the fun. Well kinda… I decided to sit on the dining table away from the ‘celebrations’. A couple of times though a bunch of them would come and make small talk with me, which was cool.
I needed a cigarette. I went to the balcony. There was three guys sitting on the couch there but I couldn’t really see their faces because it was pitch black. How many fucking people are there here!
“Hi, I’m Garry,” the one on the furthest left said halfway standing up. And then the other two follwed.
“Hi… Hi… Hi… I’m Purple, David’s sister” I responded smiling.
I decided I was going to smoke on the other balcony at the back of the house behind the kitchen and made some lame excuse why. I didn’t want to smoke in front of these kids.
So I left.
As I sat on the stool at the back of the house and puffed away, I thought about Gary. Briefly. I didn’t see his face but he felt, over powering – to me. He had a huge frame and a deep voice. I lost trail of that thought and thought about David…his friends were really cool. They had already made me laugh so much in a span of like 30 min .
When I got back in, I saw Garry standing by the TV and my gaze froze. He was this might huge guy with a beautiful smile and dark skin. The way his eyes nose and mouth were placed on his face was just….amazing. He caught me staring and like I had been stung in my eye I turned away.
At some point, I went to the kitchen to refill. Garry walked in behind me and sat on the counter without invitation. He said hello, again, and I smiled… “Hey” and stopped my self from almost saying “kiddo!”
“So your David’s younger sister?” he asked.
“No, elder sister.” I smiled trying not to blush.
“oh really! So you’re the one he had to check with before we could come here?”
“Is that what he said he was doing?” I asked
“Yeah… Just before we came.”
As we spoke some more it turned out he was older than me. The girl who rushed into the bathroom and some other guy in the house were his siblings and he met my brother through them.
I watched him smile as he spoke, looking at how his mouth burst into a smile when I said something funny… His shoulders were so wide. I thought about lying on his chest. And his lips were full and unmistakably African. My mind was already racing to the future… he’s perfect, I thought. He laughed again and his deep voiced, almost childish laughter choired in my ears. I fell for him instantly. And he was flirting! What was that he said about my smile? That he liked it?
And just then, this girl walked into the kitchen and walked towards Garry. She placed her hands on his lap and they started to have this conversation. At this point one of David’s friends was yelling for me to go to the living room with the bottle of vodka. I obeyed immediately and walked away. I saw from the corner of my eye Garry follow me out of the kitchen with his gaze.
That girl must be his girlfriend, I thought. She was skinny and tall and had braces. She clad in a tight skimpy black dress and what seemed like ten inch heels.
Shame on him for flirting with me while his babe was around! I had seen them talk earlier and jump up to the same music.
I carried my drink to my room and sipped in agony. I asked God why he would bring such a handsome man on the path of my life and have him taken. I was upset more so because I had nobody. I had never been single for so long. Its been months!! And months.
I dozed off and woke up to a less noisy house. It was around 1 am. I went to the living room and found David and his two best friends, *shiko and *john in the living room laughing drunkedly. I asked where everyone was. What I really wanted to ask was where Gary was. My brother said that they went home. Oh well okay. I took a shower and after that, David came knocking on my door asking if I wanted to go to the rave with them. No way hozay, I said. Shiko and John then peeped into the room… come on David’s Big sis, lets just goooo. Im flyiying out tomorrow come on, John pleaded. I was adamant. I wasn’t going. But they wouldn’t budge. So I said okay okay but if I get bored im coming home! David was so excited. My brother and me and are only close when it comes to movies so seeing him excited to want to hang out with me made want to go.
Psys will always be Psys. Crowded, Loud music, hot, and familiar faces. That feeling of dread started to creep up on me. I shook it off. Can I atleast try and enjoy myself! I stood in the sea of people and thought how nice my bed would feel… and then I saw him. Garry. My heart did a BOOM BOOM BOOM BAM!!! There he was at the back in his black Chuck Bass jacket looking like a demigod. My god you are so handsome, I whispered to myself. Omigod this is fate. And then I saw Braces Babe appear next to him. Argh this chik!!! I double checked my outfit and pursed my lips trying to spread my red lip gloss. I tried to make him notice me by standing right in front of his eye level.
David suddenly shouted in my ear, distracting my thoughts, “there is Melany!” I had called her before leaving the house to ask her where she was just in case my brothers’ friends bored me. We had decided to meet up at Psys. I rushed to her and we hugged and I shouted in her ear, “I have just seen the most beautiful man in the world. She shouted back “WHEEEEEERE!!!” and I pulled her behind me and stood about three feet away from Garry with my back towards him. Facing Melany, I said “ this guy, right here” I pointed behind me, “…with the black jacket…”
Melany frowned, “This guy???!!!”
She was pointing right above my shoulder.
“I know this guy!!!” she shouted.
He was here, saying hello to Melany. They hugged. And then he looked at me. I could swear to God he looked at me with warm romantic eyes yah!
Just go with the flow its how I felt. And then he hugged me. My body vapourized. Oh lawd he was so big. I want to marry you. What did you say? Nice to see you? Where did you go, you left me in the kitchen?
Whaaaaaat? I asked!!
“You look sexy, I like your red mini dress”….!
“OHHHHH , Thanks.” I blushed until the inside of my vagina.
“Lets go outside its too hot in here!” he yelled
“Okay” I yelled back. “Wait what about your girlfriend?”
“Who?”
“that girl with the braces? And long hair? Black dress?”
“Oh *Mary!!! My COUSIN!”
“Your cousin?!”
“Are you saying I’m incestuous?!” he joked
“No!!!” I laughed!
He held my hand and led me outside. Behind him, I felt like a feather; light as air. I was looking at how his jeans lay on his butt. Omigod, this guy…!
We got to his car…
“Back seat?” he asked
“What?” I responded.
“Yeah, I lets talk” he said. No expression.
“Well I though you meant outside. On the side walk…”
“Come on, its okay” he said.
“hey look, im not some babe your gana, you know… at the back of a car.!”
“Okay… But I just wanna talk… I want to get to know you. We’ll sit in front then,”
I didn’t want to be pushy so I got in. But I couldn’t help but think that he was just like every other guy. I was not pleased.
10 minutes into talking though, we were getting along. He was so nice to talk to and he laughed at my jokes. I ramble sometimes… and he told me about himself and what he does. We taaaaaaaaalked and talked. About relationships, lust, school, movies fashion! And finally when I was comfortable, he leaned in for a kiss.
I melted like butter on toast.
We made out. And I mean made out. His demeanour was so large. He made the car feel cramped, that turned me on. He lifted me to the passenger’s side. Everything was so soft and slow and deep. And then he said, “ You know we really click…”
“yeah I guess”, I said trying to act indifferent. And he was like “where have you been all holiday?” woooo rooomance!!!
I started to panic cuz of the cops that normally come and bust people doing it in the car so I asked him to stop.
I walked back to the club to fix my hair and was hit by the familiar heat wave from the dance floor. When I found Garry again, he was waiting for me. We sat somewhere.
Did I mention that this was his last nigh in Kenya? That he was leaving for Melbourne Australia the next day ay 11pm? No?
I was devastated but too happy to mourn.
I asked if I was going to see him the next day at least to say goodbye. He said that he had to take his folks to church in the morning and then there’s a family lunch in the afternoon and then there’s I donno what in the evening and he needs to pack and his folks would be cross with him if disappeared on his last day.
“Well, if you really want to seeme like you say you do, you’ll find a way…”
My brother came to us and said that him and two other ppl were going to finish up the night at our place. He asked if I was coming with him. I said yeah of course and started to stand up.
Garry held my hand and asked me to stay “I’ll take you home Purple”
.
“No, why don’t you come over we hang out at my house?”
“ Okay, I’ll come but can I drive with you? In my car?”
“Yeah sure if we ‘re leaving now…” I said hoping that he would say yes. I didn’t want to let him go but also not wanting to give in too easy.
“okay.” He stood up and kissed me.
In the car was him, me and braces babe. She was very young. My brother’s age. Well im 22 and shes 19 so to me that’s youuuung. Garry had to drop her home. And then we would go to my house. It turned out she lives on the same street as Baby did.
As we were driving away from Brace Babes house approaching the main road, Garry said
“I live right across the road. We can go over to my house and hang out…I’ll bring u home in the cox.”
“Are you fucking kidding me!!! All this was cuz you wanted to chipo me?!!!” I was furious!!!
“No! your house is 2 min away from here I just thought that we can stay at mine for a little bit since your bro went with a mob back to your house…!”
“Take me home.”
“Come on, baby (I was baby now). It’s my last night… I just want to spend time with you.”
And then the flash of the cartoon/animation movies of the terrier dog and poodle was it, came to mind. There was this scene, it was the terrier’s last night; he was going to be put to sleep the next day. And he used this line to get the poodle to sleep with him. Or was it that movie with the dogs that talk, Look Who’s Talking?
“Oh coz its your last night your looking for a quick shag?!”
“No. I just want to cuddle. Didn’t you say you felt it too… this energy between us?” he said, all Barry White voiced.
“No way. Home. Please. If you want to see me, you can come tomorrow. If you don’t come well then there was no energy. Me I’m not a chipo, Wat the hell”
“Okay…. Fine. To your house then…” he said, sad.
He started the car.
“Wait…” his reverse psychology was working…
“Purple, I just want more time with you. Alone…” he said reinforcing his plea
“Okay…”
Without another word the car roared to life and we crossed the road straight to the other side.
2 minutes really was 2 minutes. More like 30 seconds. His house was right there. And it was BIG. It was pitch black but I could see the white of the house reflecting from the moonlight. We walked around a couple of corners. At the back of a wall he turned towards me and pinned me on the bricks and we kissed. My heart was beating so fast I thought I would run out of breath. He pressed onto me and I felt his erection. I was moist in my panties. Cuddling my ass!
He took my hand again and led me across this lawn to like a guest house. Out of nowhere, five dogs hopped towards us. “Shit theyre ganna bark!!!” I hissed.
“No, the wont.”
They licked my naked legs and one of them hopped onto Garry. He laughed. I fell even more for this man. Those of you who know me know my love for animals. He tried to shoo them away but they followed us to the door, also not making a sound as if they could tell that we were trying to be quiet.
Once in the house/room, Garry hugged me and said… “If you don’t want to do anything, we wont.” I didn’t respond. Of course this meant, I want us to fuck.
All I will say is that the rest is history.
This ginourmous man blanketed me. He was strong. Like a gentle beast. And everything I ever wanted. Everything I ever wrote about on my wish list to the universe, everything I dreamed about during boring meetings at work, everything.
At 9am, in his arms, we were woken up by a knock on the window. “GAARRRY! Weh, Garry get the fuck up.”
I was the first to wake up. I shook him to consciousness. “Whaaaat Sam!” Gary’s voice broke.
It was his little brother. He was telling Garry that he needed to wake up because he was taking everyone to church that day. And that he should remember that Mom wanted to talk to him about something important that day over lunch. Also, he should remember how he tells his little brother to be responsible and that now it was his turn to act responsibly.
“Shut up Sammy” He yelled from the bed. It was comical really. I looked at my watch. If my folks had been home there is no wayyyy I would have spent the night there. Another reason why I thought this was fate. If not fate at least something close.
“Tell her I’m not home and go away man”
“No I want to skive church! I’ve just come from Westy man. You take them to church and let me sleep here.” Sammy said into the window. In a family of eight children, I guess one kid missing from church could go unnoticed.
Garry woke up and marched to the window. One can’t see the bed from that specific window by the way… I then heard him hiss “I have a girl here okay, fuck off!”
And then Sammy’s voice tones down to a whisper too and I heard muffled laughter and slapping around. And whats that noise? Are those condoms being passed over.
Back in bed, on his wide chest, I tried to savour the moment. We started to chat.
It started to get emotional. He asked me if I would wait for him if he asked me too. I said yes. He went back and said that asking me to do that for him would be selfish… I said it felt like we knew each other for ages. He couldn’t agree more. After about an hour of trying to figure things out, I realised I was very much into this guy. My heart was already in love with him. Maybe not real love, but you know, fallacy love. My mind was fond of him. He asked me, how much I felt for him. I said 9, on a scale of 1 to 10. He said, “get to 11 baby. I’ll be waiting”
After everybody was in church, we walked out.
This was the first time I had ever been chipod. I was a chips funga and this right here to the car in my red mini dress in the scorching of the Sunday sun was my walk of shame. Garry opened for me the door and kissed me and then looked at me. He started to walk away and I pulled him back to me. “Please stay. You don’t start school till March right?”
“ I have to go. I need to work baby.”
He turned around and went to the driver’s seat.
We spoke very little on the way to my house. I held his hand but he seemed unresponsive. What the hell was wrong with him? Is this how chiboz are dumped? Oh god I should have known.
We got to my house. I’ll call you baby. He kissed me goodbye and left.
At 2pm, I went to Masai market and started to pick out stuff to give Garry. I know he said we couldn’t meet but I couldn’t sleep and I was thinking about him all day. Maybe I can give Daisy this stuff and shell mail it to him once she gets to Adelaide (Australia).
I bought a Tusker tshit, A ‘Proudly Kenyan’ Tshit and a key holder. Then I went home. I took a shower and went to bed. Garry Garry Garry Garry, that was what was in my head.
At 4.30pm, my cell rang. “Are you at home Baby?”
His voice thrust me into complete happiness! “YES YES I am…”
“I’m a minute from your house”
“Really?!!!”
“yeah?... I told you I’d come.”
“No you didn’t!”
“Yes I did” he was laughing. Oh that sweet laugh.
Whatever okay im home.
He walked into my bedroom and I planted the hugest kiss on him!
I showed him his presents. He was so excited about the Tshirts. Especially the Tusker one saying that they were like gold in Australia. We cuddled in bed for a long time talking.
We made love again and again.
His flight was at 11 pm. He was meant to be at the airport by 8pm. At 7.15pm he was in my arms and I was kissing the scars on his face when his phone rang for the a millionth time.
That was when we realised the time. He hadn’t even packed!
“Please stay!” I begged.
“I can’t baby!!!”
We hugged and held each other. I told him I could wait for him. He said that he cant let me do that because 11 months was a long time.
He asked me if I would be feeling him like this if he wasn’t leaving in 3 hours. I didn’t know what he was talking about. Of course I would! There is absolutely nothing about you that I do not like (wanted to say love). You’re perfect. But I know he was right. I am very stingy with guys and I play hard to get. I don’t approach, I wait to be approached etc etc… all these female empowerment books, I lived by them like they were my bible. But Gary was different. I didn’t care that I was begging him to stay. And I had never fallen this fast for anyone.
I walked him to his car. My brother was all awkward cuz this was his boy. Ok whatever.
We kissed. Not like we kissed in the bedroom. A quick, awkward kiss. And he disappeared. Gone.
I went to have a shower and I cried my lungs out. I cried so hard that my throat became sore. I thanked God for bringing Gary into my life but cursed Him for taking him away. I cried. I cried and cried. One hour later, I resurrected from the steam in the shower and went to bed.
I got a text from him, “That was the best 24 hours I have ever had”
I wanted to say, I LOVE YOU, don’t go, but I replied “I feel the same. Call me at the airport love”
We talked until the very last minute. And finally he texted and said, “Taking off with your heart, My Queen”.
I will never delete his messages from my phone.
I spent the next day, Monday 10th telling Daisy all about him. She was shocked. She couldn’t believe all this had happened. Every sentence had Gary in it. Every hour I checked my phone to see if he had called me from Bangkok where he connected his flight. I was resuming work on Tuesday the following day.
I was replaying every moment with him over and over. I looked at the pics we took before bed. I woke up wearing his jumper.
I went to work humming his name.
I need to snap out of this shit man. He’s gone. But I couldn’t.
Three hours ago, I was on my way home from work. Its Tuesday evening. My phone vibrated in my bag. I recognised the number, it was Australian. I screamed for the tout to stop fucking the car. I jumped out.
I picked up the phone
“HELLO!!!!!”
“Hey baby…”
“Gary!!!!” I shouted. I crossed the road and got into Jivanjee Gardens. Crazy how I crossed the road.
The first thing he said was “Dew, I’ve missed you so much”
Did he just call me Dew? That was my middle tribes name. My heart. Oh my heart. The way I felt when he said those words.
I was so happy to hear his voice.
After asking me how my day was, he said, I want to ask you something but you have to think about it okay…
“Okay”
“Purple I want you to be my girl…”
“Omigod whaaat!”
“Just think about it okay…”
“Okaay!!!!”
“cuz its gana be hard baby… if you want to, its gana be hard.”
“I knoooow… Omigod”
“I want to pay for a ticket for you to come here!”
“OH Christ Gary!”
“I haven’t even called my folks you know. I just landed. I miss you. Youre the only person I thought about for the entire flight. Do you want to be with me? Cuz if youre ready im ready.” Etc etc etc etc
I was so happy!
Oh shit I cant believe this.
Im in a spin right now.
With Love,
Purple
When I went up country for Christmas, something changed in me. More like, settled in me. I didn’t know if it was permanent or temporary, but I liked it.
*Daisy and I had promised each other that we would be each other’s dates for new year’s eve. If you’ve been keeping tabs on my blog, you know im single. Daisy is also single, and let me just say I am so proud of her for leaving her ex! He reminds me so much of Baby!!!
However when 31st came around I wasn’t feeling it at all. The rave that is. So many times in the last 2 months I have gone out and im like, “why am I here…” (on the rave). I didn’t have a man, the men on the rave were just not for me… and yeah, I was looking for a man. A lover , a friend, a companion. I knew what I wanted.
I would find myself staring into space, (on the rave) with this feeling of dread and loneliness and suddenly, I would want to go home. And when I got home, I was so happy to go to bed. This happened so many times and when I had enough of it, I just stopped going out. Again, whether it was permanent or temporary I didn’t know, but I was liking it
I started to think what I would replace this time with… the Friday and Saturday nights. Movies, my art, and … well that’s all I had. I was tired of the night scene and if anything, I have been a single girl partying for almost a year now and not met the kind of man I wanted. So if I changed my scene, maybe I would find my man right? Sounded convincing to me. Whatever. Man or no man, catch me dead on the rave on New Year’s Eve.
I ditched Daisy on 31st. I felt really bad because I would have loved to go to Naivasha with her but I also knew I would wind up being the party pooper; quiet, lonely, and lost in fantasy.
That night I stayed home alone with five candles, popcorn and Gabriel ‘coco’ Channel’s life story movie. I enjoyed myself to bits! At midnight, I watched the fireworks from my balcony, kissed my imaginary boyfriend and went to bed at 1 am.
On January 8th, 2011, I opted to leave Quinnz (after the rugby game at impala) before nightfall cuz I wasn’t interested in partying. I got home. What to do… decided to take out my art work. My parents were away for the weekend and so my brother *David was not home, and neither was the car…more time for me then. I spilled my art supplies on the floor and started to construct a view finder. It was ridiculously demanding and I was sweating and cursing but I loved it. At 10.30 pm David strolls in with the house shopping (really at 10.30?!!), tiptoes across the mess ive made on the floor and informs me, rather than asking, that he is having four friends over for a few drinks. I was cross with him!!! All my shit was on the floor and I was already half way and if I moved it would mess everything I had been working on. After an argument though, his boys were coming.
Ten minutes later, you could hear loud late night revelries from the parking lot. Surely I hadn’t even moved my stuff. A second later the door bell rang and a huge influx of youth splurged into the living room. This wasn’t four people. This was more like fourteen people!!!
Everyone was nice though, even the drunkish girl who walked over me rushing to the toilet as I was tried to pick up my art supplies. A few minutes later David was pouring me a drink and I was in on the fun. Well kinda… I decided to sit on the dining table away from the ‘celebrations’. A couple of times though a bunch of them would come and make small talk with me, which was cool.
I needed a cigarette. I went to the balcony. There was three guys sitting on the couch there but I couldn’t really see their faces because it was pitch black. How many fucking people are there here!
“Hi, I’m Garry,” the one on the furthest left said halfway standing up. And then the other two follwed.
“Hi… Hi… Hi… I’m Purple, David’s sister” I responded smiling.
I decided I was going to smoke on the other balcony at the back of the house behind the kitchen and made some lame excuse why. I didn’t want to smoke in front of these kids.
So I left.
As I sat on the stool at the back of the house and puffed away, I thought about Gary. Briefly. I didn’t see his face but he felt, over powering – to me. He had a huge frame and a deep voice. I lost trail of that thought and thought about David…his friends were really cool. They had already made me laugh so much in a span of like 30 min .
When I got back in, I saw Garry standing by the TV and my gaze froze. He was this might huge guy with a beautiful smile and dark skin. The way his eyes nose and mouth were placed on his face was just….amazing. He caught me staring and like I had been stung in my eye I turned away.
At some point, I went to the kitchen to refill. Garry walked in behind me and sat on the counter without invitation. He said hello, again, and I smiled… “Hey” and stopped my self from almost saying “kiddo!”
“So your David’s younger sister?” he asked.
“No, elder sister.” I smiled trying not to blush.
“oh really! So you’re the one he had to check with before we could come here?”
“Is that what he said he was doing?” I asked
“Yeah… Just before we came.”
As we spoke some more it turned out he was older than me. The girl who rushed into the bathroom and some other guy in the house were his siblings and he met my brother through them.
I watched him smile as he spoke, looking at how his mouth burst into a smile when I said something funny… His shoulders were so wide. I thought about lying on his chest. And his lips were full and unmistakably African. My mind was already racing to the future… he’s perfect, I thought. He laughed again and his deep voiced, almost childish laughter choired in my ears. I fell for him instantly. And he was flirting! What was that he said about my smile? That he liked it?
And just then, this girl walked into the kitchen and walked towards Garry. She placed her hands on his lap and they started to have this conversation. At this point one of David’s friends was yelling for me to go to the living room with the bottle of vodka. I obeyed immediately and walked away. I saw from the corner of my eye Garry follow me out of the kitchen with his gaze.
That girl must be his girlfriend, I thought. She was skinny and tall and had braces. She clad in a tight skimpy black dress and what seemed like ten inch heels.
Shame on him for flirting with me while his babe was around! I had seen them talk earlier and jump up to the same music.
I carried my drink to my room and sipped in agony. I asked God why he would bring such a handsome man on the path of my life and have him taken. I was upset more so because I had nobody. I had never been single for so long. Its been months!! And months.
I dozed off and woke up to a less noisy house. It was around 1 am. I went to the living room and found David and his two best friends, *shiko and *john in the living room laughing drunkedly. I asked where everyone was. What I really wanted to ask was where Gary was. My brother said that they went home. Oh well okay. I took a shower and after that, David came knocking on my door asking if I wanted to go to the rave with them. No way hozay, I said. Shiko and John then peeped into the room… come on David’s Big sis, lets just goooo. Im flyiying out tomorrow come on, John pleaded. I was adamant. I wasn’t going. But they wouldn’t budge. So I said okay okay but if I get bored im coming home! David was so excited. My brother and me and are only close when it comes to movies so seeing him excited to want to hang out with me made want to go.
Psys will always be Psys. Crowded, Loud music, hot, and familiar faces. That feeling of dread started to creep up on me. I shook it off. Can I atleast try and enjoy myself! I stood in the sea of people and thought how nice my bed would feel… and then I saw him. Garry. My heart did a BOOM BOOM BOOM BAM!!! There he was at the back in his black Chuck Bass jacket looking like a demigod. My god you are so handsome, I whispered to myself. Omigod this is fate. And then I saw Braces Babe appear next to him. Argh this chik!!! I double checked my outfit and pursed my lips trying to spread my red lip gloss. I tried to make him notice me by standing right in front of his eye level.
David suddenly shouted in my ear, distracting my thoughts, “there is Melany!” I had called her before leaving the house to ask her where she was just in case my brothers’ friends bored me. We had decided to meet up at Psys. I rushed to her and we hugged and I shouted in her ear, “I have just seen the most beautiful man in the world. She shouted back “WHEEEEEERE!!!” and I pulled her behind me and stood about three feet away from Garry with my back towards him. Facing Melany, I said “ this guy, right here” I pointed behind me, “…with the black jacket…”
Melany frowned, “This guy???!!!”
She was pointing right above my shoulder.
“I know this guy!!!” she shouted.
He was here, saying hello to Melany. They hugged. And then he looked at me. I could swear to God he looked at me with warm romantic eyes yah!
Just go with the flow its how I felt. And then he hugged me. My body vapourized. Oh lawd he was so big. I want to marry you. What did you say? Nice to see you? Where did you go, you left me in the kitchen?
Whaaaaaat? I asked!!
“You look sexy, I like your red mini dress”….!
“OHHHHH , Thanks.” I blushed until the inside of my vagina.
“Lets go outside its too hot in here!” he yelled
“Okay” I yelled back. “Wait what about your girlfriend?”
“Who?”
“that girl with the braces? And long hair? Black dress?”
“Oh *Mary!!! My COUSIN!”
“Your cousin?!”
“Are you saying I’m incestuous?!” he joked
“No!!!” I laughed!
He held my hand and led me outside. Behind him, I felt like a feather; light as air. I was looking at how his jeans lay on his butt. Omigod, this guy…!
We got to his car…
“Back seat?” he asked
“What?” I responded.
“Yeah, I lets talk” he said. No expression.
“Well I though you meant outside. On the side walk…”
“Come on, its okay” he said.
“hey look, im not some babe your gana, you know… at the back of a car.!”
“Okay… But I just wanna talk… I want to get to know you. We’ll sit in front then,”
I didn’t want to be pushy so I got in. But I couldn’t help but think that he was just like every other guy. I was not pleased.
10 minutes into talking though, we were getting along. He was so nice to talk to and he laughed at my jokes. I ramble sometimes… and he told me about himself and what he does. We taaaaaaaaalked and talked. About relationships, lust, school, movies fashion! And finally when I was comfortable, he leaned in for a kiss.
I melted like butter on toast.
We made out. And I mean made out. His demeanour was so large. He made the car feel cramped, that turned me on. He lifted me to the passenger’s side. Everything was so soft and slow and deep. And then he said, “ You know we really click…”
“yeah I guess”, I said trying to act indifferent. And he was like “where have you been all holiday?” woooo rooomance!!!
I started to panic cuz of the cops that normally come and bust people doing it in the car so I asked him to stop.
I walked back to the club to fix my hair and was hit by the familiar heat wave from the dance floor. When I found Garry again, he was waiting for me. We sat somewhere.
Did I mention that this was his last nigh in Kenya? That he was leaving for Melbourne Australia the next day ay 11pm? No?
I was devastated but too happy to mourn.
I asked if I was going to see him the next day at least to say goodbye. He said that he had to take his folks to church in the morning and then there’s a family lunch in the afternoon and then there’s I donno what in the evening and he needs to pack and his folks would be cross with him if disappeared on his last day.
“Well, if you really want to seeme like you say you do, you’ll find a way…”
My brother came to us and said that him and two other ppl were going to finish up the night at our place. He asked if I was coming with him. I said yeah of course and started to stand up.
Garry held my hand and asked me to stay “I’ll take you home Purple”
.
“No, why don’t you come over we hang out at my house?”
“ Okay, I’ll come but can I drive with you? In my car?”
“Yeah sure if we ‘re leaving now…” I said hoping that he would say yes. I didn’t want to let him go but also not wanting to give in too easy.
“okay.” He stood up and kissed me.
In the car was him, me and braces babe. She was very young. My brother’s age. Well im 22 and shes 19 so to me that’s youuuung. Garry had to drop her home. And then we would go to my house. It turned out she lives on the same street as Baby did.
As we were driving away from Brace Babes house approaching the main road, Garry said
“I live right across the road. We can go over to my house and hang out…I’ll bring u home in the cox.”
“Are you fucking kidding me!!! All this was cuz you wanted to chipo me?!!!” I was furious!!!
“No! your house is 2 min away from here I just thought that we can stay at mine for a little bit since your bro went with a mob back to your house…!”
“Take me home.”
“Come on, baby (I was baby now). It’s my last night… I just want to spend time with you.”
And then the flash of the cartoon/animation movies of the terrier dog and poodle was it, came to mind. There was this scene, it was the terrier’s last night; he was going to be put to sleep the next day. And he used this line to get the poodle to sleep with him. Or was it that movie with the dogs that talk, Look Who’s Talking?
“Oh coz its your last night your looking for a quick shag?!”
“No. I just want to cuddle. Didn’t you say you felt it too… this energy between us?” he said, all Barry White voiced.
“No way. Home. Please. If you want to see me, you can come tomorrow. If you don’t come well then there was no energy. Me I’m not a chipo, Wat the hell”
“Okay…. Fine. To your house then…” he said, sad.
He started the car.
“Wait…” his reverse psychology was working…
“Purple, I just want more time with you. Alone…” he said reinforcing his plea
“Okay…”
Without another word the car roared to life and we crossed the road straight to the other side.
2 minutes really was 2 minutes. More like 30 seconds. His house was right there. And it was BIG. It was pitch black but I could see the white of the house reflecting from the moonlight. We walked around a couple of corners. At the back of a wall he turned towards me and pinned me on the bricks and we kissed. My heart was beating so fast I thought I would run out of breath. He pressed onto me and I felt his erection. I was moist in my panties. Cuddling my ass!
He took my hand again and led me across this lawn to like a guest house. Out of nowhere, five dogs hopped towards us. “Shit theyre ganna bark!!!” I hissed.
“No, the wont.”
They licked my naked legs and one of them hopped onto Garry. He laughed. I fell even more for this man. Those of you who know me know my love for animals. He tried to shoo them away but they followed us to the door, also not making a sound as if they could tell that we were trying to be quiet.
Once in the house/room, Garry hugged me and said… “If you don’t want to do anything, we wont.” I didn’t respond. Of course this meant, I want us to fuck.
All I will say is that the rest is history.
This ginourmous man blanketed me. He was strong. Like a gentle beast. And everything I ever wanted. Everything I ever wrote about on my wish list to the universe, everything I dreamed about during boring meetings at work, everything.
At 9am, in his arms, we were woken up by a knock on the window. “GAARRRY! Weh, Garry get the fuck up.”
I was the first to wake up. I shook him to consciousness. “Whaaaat Sam!” Gary’s voice broke.
It was his little brother. He was telling Garry that he needed to wake up because he was taking everyone to church that day. And that he should remember that Mom wanted to talk to him about something important that day over lunch. Also, he should remember how he tells his little brother to be responsible and that now it was his turn to act responsibly.
“Shut up Sammy” He yelled from the bed. It was comical really. I looked at my watch. If my folks had been home there is no wayyyy I would have spent the night there. Another reason why I thought this was fate. If not fate at least something close.
“Tell her I’m not home and go away man”
“No I want to skive church! I’ve just come from Westy man. You take them to church and let me sleep here.” Sammy said into the window. In a family of eight children, I guess one kid missing from church could go unnoticed.
Garry woke up and marched to the window. One can’t see the bed from that specific window by the way… I then heard him hiss “I have a girl here okay, fuck off!”
And then Sammy’s voice tones down to a whisper too and I heard muffled laughter and slapping around. And whats that noise? Are those condoms being passed over.
Back in bed, on his wide chest, I tried to savour the moment. We started to chat.
It started to get emotional. He asked me if I would wait for him if he asked me too. I said yes. He went back and said that asking me to do that for him would be selfish… I said it felt like we knew each other for ages. He couldn’t agree more. After about an hour of trying to figure things out, I realised I was very much into this guy. My heart was already in love with him. Maybe not real love, but you know, fallacy love. My mind was fond of him. He asked me, how much I felt for him. I said 9, on a scale of 1 to 10. He said, “get to 11 baby. I’ll be waiting”
After everybody was in church, we walked out.
This was the first time I had ever been chipod. I was a chips funga and this right here to the car in my red mini dress in the scorching of the Sunday sun was my walk of shame. Garry opened for me the door and kissed me and then looked at me. He started to walk away and I pulled him back to me. “Please stay. You don’t start school till March right?”
“ I have to go. I need to work baby.”
He turned around and went to the driver’s seat.
We spoke very little on the way to my house. I held his hand but he seemed unresponsive. What the hell was wrong with him? Is this how chiboz are dumped? Oh god I should have known.
We got to my house. I’ll call you baby. He kissed me goodbye and left.
At 2pm, I went to Masai market and started to pick out stuff to give Garry. I know he said we couldn’t meet but I couldn’t sleep and I was thinking about him all day. Maybe I can give Daisy this stuff and shell mail it to him once she gets to Adelaide (Australia).
I bought a Tusker tshit, A ‘Proudly Kenyan’ Tshit and a key holder. Then I went home. I took a shower and went to bed. Garry Garry Garry Garry, that was what was in my head.
At 4.30pm, my cell rang. “Are you at home Baby?”
His voice thrust me into complete happiness! “YES YES I am…”
“I’m a minute from your house”
“Really?!!!”
“yeah?... I told you I’d come.”
“No you didn’t!”
“Yes I did” he was laughing. Oh that sweet laugh.
Whatever okay im home.
He walked into my bedroom and I planted the hugest kiss on him!
I showed him his presents. He was so excited about the Tshirts. Especially the Tusker one saying that they were like gold in Australia. We cuddled in bed for a long time talking.
We made love again and again.
His flight was at 11 pm. He was meant to be at the airport by 8pm. At 7.15pm he was in my arms and I was kissing the scars on his face when his phone rang for the a millionth time.
That was when we realised the time. He hadn’t even packed!
“Please stay!” I begged.
“I can’t baby!!!”
We hugged and held each other. I told him I could wait for him. He said that he cant let me do that because 11 months was a long time.
He asked me if I would be feeling him like this if he wasn’t leaving in 3 hours. I didn’t know what he was talking about. Of course I would! There is absolutely nothing about you that I do not like (wanted to say love). You’re perfect. But I know he was right. I am very stingy with guys and I play hard to get. I don’t approach, I wait to be approached etc etc… all these female empowerment books, I lived by them like they were my bible. But Gary was different. I didn’t care that I was begging him to stay. And I had never fallen this fast for anyone.
I walked him to his car. My brother was all awkward cuz this was his boy. Ok whatever.
We kissed. Not like we kissed in the bedroom. A quick, awkward kiss. And he disappeared. Gone.
I went to have a shower and I cried my lungs out. I cried so hard that my throat became sore. I thanked God for bringing Gary into my life but cursed Him for taking him away. I cried. I cried and cried. One hour later, I resurrected from the steam in the shower and went to bed.
I got a text from him, “That was the best 24 hours I have ever had”
I wanted to say, I LOVE YOU, don’t go, but I replied “I feel the same. Call me at the airport love”
We talked until the very last minute. And finally he texted and said, “Taking off with your heart, My Queen”.
I will never delete his messages from my phone.
I spent the next day, Monday 10th telling Daisy all about him. She was shocked. She couldn’t believe all this had happened. Every sentence had Gary in it. Every hour I checked my phone to see if he had called me from Bangkok where he connected his flight. I was resuming work on Tuesday the following day.
I was replaying every moment with him over and over. I looked at the pics we took before bed. I woke up wearing his jumper.
I went to work humming his name.
I need to snap out of this shit man. He’s gone. But I couldn’t.
Three hours ago, I was on my way home from work. Its Tuesday evening. My phone vibrated in my bag. I recognised the number, it was Australian. I screamed for the tout to stop fucking the car. I jumped out.
I picked up the phone
“HELLO!!!!!”
“Hey baby…”
“Gary!!!!” I shouted. I crossed the road and got into Jivanjee Gardens. Crazy how I crossed the road.
The first thing he said was “Dew, I’ve missed you so much”
Did he just call me Dew? That was my middle tribes name. My heart. Oh my heart. The way I felt when he said those words.
I was so happy to hear his voice.
After asking me how my day was, he said, I want to ask you something but you have to think about it okay…
“Okay”
“Purple I want you to be my girl…”
“Omigod whaaat!”
“Just think about it okay…”
“Okaay!!!!”
“cuz its gana be hard baby… if you want to, its gana be hard.”
“I knoooow… Omigod”
“I want to pay for a ticket for you to come here!”
“OH Christ Gary!”
“I haven’t even called my folks you know. I just landed. I miss you. Youre the only person I thought about for the entire flight. Do you want to be with me? Cuz if youre ready im ready.” Etc etc etc etc
I was so happy!
Oh shit I cant believe this.
Im in a spin right now.
With Love,
Purple
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