SINGLE GURL PERKS

Okay.
I love being single . I do. It’s the dating that sucks. The single part can suck too; when you’re all alone at night and it’s raining outside and D’angelo’s tunes are playing. So allow me to rephrase. I LIKE being single.

I know I said I would continue with The Pillars of my Life but I got lost somewhere in this thing called life.
But for one, I finally left that dreadful job euuuuuugh!!! And I got another job which I LOVE. Thank you GOD! I really have never thanked God so much in my life.
And, I left Motor Cycle guy. No regrets, although I realized that he is a bit of a jerk. Break ups reveal these things in people.

So I’m a single gal again . (MG is still somewhere as a silhouette in my life. (*no comment)

As I was handing in my resignation papers in Diabetes Limited, a guy came up and introduced himself as *Bono. He said he would like my number. I wasn’t really feeling it. I’m into love at first sight nini nini. Or at least, heart-doing-flip-flops at first sight nini nini. I gave him my number. He wasn’t so bad; nice sense of humour.
Immediately I walked out of that dreadful building, free as a bird, I got a text from Bono. Something like “So are you ganna talk to me?” Okay, ‘?????’ whats this guy talking about. I didn’t reply. I was busy anyway. I was to start my new job in three days and I needed to shop for office cloz, get my certificate from Uni blah blah blah.
Two weeks later though, he called… I was like “who is *bono,” when I read the caller ID. He asked if we could meet up for lunch. It was a Saturday afternoon and I had to go for a fitting for a dress to my cousin’s wedding. So I told him I was busy till around 5. He says, “Okay then lets meet up for a drink after”… I reluctantly said yes. It’s our first date. A bar, really? I had enough of that kind of scene for 3years with Baby (ex,~Loooooved him). But nonetheless, I was bored and I thought, “it is a sato anyway, so what the hell. This could wound up being my boyfriend.”
At 8pm, *Bono came for me. We had decided to postpone to night time. He was parked outside our apartment complex. I wondered why he didn’t drive in. He didn’t mind that I had to walk up the hill? Okay, whatever.
I’m talking to my BFF telling her that I am on my way to Tamasha as I walk out of the gate. There were two cars parked there and one, I assumed was a cab. There was a guy in a huge ( like down to your knees huge) yellow anorak askari (watchman) jacket standing next to one of the cars waiting for someone. I assumed he was a cab guy and passed him. I was busy on the phone heading towards the second parked car that only had its headlights on when I heard the guy in the jacket call out my name.
Turning around I realized it was *Bono. I froze and *Puppy (BFF) was all “hello??” on the other side of the phone.
OMG. I was so embarrassed! I rushed to hug him and apologized. He said, “looks like I don’t look like who your waiting for”… Totally ignored that and went to the passenger’s side.

Thank goodness he was easy to talk to. Here I was all dolled up, while *Bono clad in a huuuge jacket and I don’t know what else (I couldn’t see past the jacket) and what is this? Is he high? He spoke loosely and his eyes popped out of his eye sockets, bloodshot red, focusing on the road. He leaned so close to the steering wheel that his back was hunched. It was dark so I only saw this from the lights of an approaching car. What the hell.
Then he made a comment about my dress. Something about unbuttoning it and I don’t know what. That was it. No way, no how.
We stopped at an atm. He was withdrawing money. I called BFF. Told her to come save me. “Just come to Tamasha for like an hour and chill with us then say you have to go and I must come with you…!!!” I implored. She hesitated but said she would come through.
At Tamasha, (which later turned out to be buffet park…the side for wababaz,) *Bono ordered a quarter of Viceroy, and a double Vat for me. Yeah, a whole bottie for himself. TELLER WARNING ALERT NO.1.
He took off his Eskimo jacket. He was sweating (no shit!) … underneath he clad nice. A soccer jersey and jeans. Shoes; naaah. (we all do this as girls, I mean, it was the first date). *Bono was clearly high, and used such little coke to chase his triple shots a glass.
The conversation was forced and I was mostly nervous because he kept touching my knee (shudder) but he was having a great time!
Anyway, BFF was there in 30 minutes and the plan worked. *Bono had already cleared his bottie.
*note to self, no Bar – first dates.