I recognise the butterflies

I couldnt do a second date with BFP... Cuppa, i tried to overlook all that stuff but i couldnt. So i have remained friends with him but broken off the whole deal.

Last Thursday I left the house ( for the pub) pretty late. By the time i got there some of my friends were 'happy!' lol.

Class time approached. I hate this class cuz it fucks up all my thirsty thursdays. I've missed so many of them so this thursday i had to attend it.
Class didnt suck so much so once i got out i was all pumped to do assignments and study etc. my plan was to go straight home. But, since my oh-so-cool-super-girl-crew was still at the pub i decided to go for a lap of honour.

I walked in. As i did, i glanceed to my right and saw ...(allow me to change his name because I didnt relaise he'd be a part of this blog before)Brit, and etc.
So heres the the thing with Brit.
I had the hugest crush on him since like four weeks ago. He was my first crush/like after Baby. I realised only later that he didnt go here (my uni) and only comes over to have a drink with his boys who do go here.

First time we met i was DRUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNK!!!!!! The alcohol gave me the courage to talk to him. Asked him to take a pic wiv me haha. He agreed. And then we started to talk. And i thought....nah... I didnt feel like we clicked. So i was like blegh. what a waste becasue HE IS SO HOTTT.
Second time we met, it hit me how drunk I was on the first time we met and was totally embarrased. Despite the fact that I was no longer into him, I still didn't want to look bad. Plus i couldnt remember A WORD we talked about on that first rendezvous; what if i talked shit. Maybe thats why he didnt turn up the next week, i thought. So a part of me wanted to redeem my alcohol influnced behaviour. We bumped into each other when he was with his boys and i was with male-super sanguine (who are also his friend) outside the pub. After he said hallo,(he hugged me tight) i looked at him for any reaction...nothing. It looked as if he was either shy or just trying to hint that he didnt want my stories that day.I decided that it had to be the latter. He wasn't even looking at me. Shit, so i must have blundered. oh shit. the whole night we sat on opposite ends of the bar with no exchange.

I let it go and thought, oh fuck it. Third time we met. Same place... This day after my class-the one that got me syked to do my assignments...and im walking into the pub. I was walking past his friends (hadnt seen him yet) beacuse i had said hi to them before. But then i saw him. And he didnt look away. Infact he was loooking-loooking. so i decided to say hi. I did. He hugged me tight again... you know, more than usuall. so I waited for him to get awkward. He didnt. He was asking me whre I'de been, if i'm here for a drink. and then he just went quiet after BigMan started talking to me. Okay so he's not really outgoing?
Anyway, i went to sit with my girls. They were SUPER HAPPY now!! Especially Sassy. Lover her when she's high. I take a seat.

Brit comes. Sits to my left me on the adjacent table where his/my boys sat. A half hour goes by and he doesnt walk up to me. OOOOkkkkay, i dont get him at this point cuz i keep catching him looking at me and laughing at my jokes. I remember i have mad asignments and decide to tell evryone bye. give urrbody a kiss on the cheek and when i got to him, i wave goodbye. As i start to turn he holds my arm and pulls me to him wooooo. Asks me why im going and if im going out. I say i have lots a work.

"you have a good time when you go out..." is what i heard him say. His Brit accent can be heard in the shadow of his Kenyan accent. So im never sure what he says. And I say
" Yeah i usually have a good time"
"Nah I mean tonoit. if you com out wiv os, you will av a goot one..."is how he spoke

so sexy.

we spoke for another hour or so. He is so cute up close. Was i that drunk that day? He gave me butterflies and everything. For some strange reason, as we spoke, that song for Black eyed peas;meet me half way kept playing in my head. i dont know why. he makes me feel of that song hihi.
HOmetime. I tell him ive got to go. Coincedentally, so does he. we walk out. Meet a couple of friends on the way out say hi etc etc. he ofers to walk me to where im meeting a couple of my friends who im going home with.

Hearts racing.
Hugging goodbye.
He leans in for a Kisssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I kiss back.
He kisses me again...!!!
i kiss back
I dont remember what he says after.Maybe i dint hear... but I say, "Ask for my number next time we meet."
He says okay

He goes.
I LOL with my pal.
I walk off like ten yards. Turn back and his standing where we kissed with his/boys. I wave. he waves back.

Saturday..
We bump into each other at a club on the rave. he looks so dashing. Black rose tells me she noticed some hot guy in the club and realised it was him. Ma butterflies nini nini. he buys me a drink. we chat, dance... kiss kisss kissss... Bigman calls him. Thyre leaving. Aks for my number. i give it to him. He is soooo hot!

Sends a text at like 5am saying it was nice seeing me. i was so sleepy and tipsy i couldnt reply.

Next day, Sunday he sends a text
"Hey gorgeous... Av a good time Yesternyt? I did"
What the hell is YESTERNYT!!!! LOL. Hes such a brit. anyway, he asks me to go online. He is with Male-Super Sanguine. We chat for ages...

Lets see how this one will play out.

*baby called me yesterday. Told me that he was told i was on the rave. Sent a text after saying that he is still in love with me. Okay.
CIAO .
Mwah Mwah Mwah

SCREEETCH!

haha.
Sigh... I've been looking foward to posting this.
I think it was two weeks ago... My first thursday rave. Mini dress, heels, sexy hair warrra warrra. Got free drinks all night. So i discovered more skin was the solution to a broke night out. Ha... men.
I went out with Super Sanguine and Bootyfull. It was great! It all began at our local pub here where, what shall I call him Nostalgia, thew for me afew drinks. Got tipsay...yay, but then I was noticing that he was paying a little more attention to me than he usually does ( I dated him eons ago-never really been any chemistry ever since)... Then when I'm leaving the pub with Super sanguine and bootyfull to go change for the *rumba that night, he's all up in my biz asking where i'm going and why because he'd already ordered a drink for me. Anyway, i still left.
The *rumba... Drink drink drink...dance dance dance. Nostalgia had halad asking where I was (???????) so i told him. He comes. OOOOkay so at the end of the night he comes to my place (haha..woooo) let me tell you how it went down. at the club i kept on telling him "Get into your cab and go to (his place of residence)!" He was like no no no, *eti I cant leave him hanging like that and so on. Evetually he gets into a cab to go to HIS HOME... but just as he did that, PSYCHO ANNA NICOLE SMITH (P.A.N.S) Starts *letaing for me DRRRRRRAAAAAAMMMMMMA just there outside the club. these drunken vibes! ahhh!!! and she was with LezGurl which was just so weird and awkward for me since Lez was still calling me-hung up on me warrra warrra... So Nostalgia jumps out of his cab trying to be super man and before i know it he's getting into a cab with me in a 'rescue mission' style straight to my place. THAT IS HOW THE *CHIBO CAME TO BE.

I expected more from the shag-due to certain elements being at that current time... a miss.

So forget Nostalgia.

REmember Blast from the past? BFP? the guy who's been halaing at me... guy i knew from Primary school and hadn't seen in 8years...
So yesterday, i invited him over for lunch to my place. I cooked-mashed potatoes, stir fry and tomato gravy... :-) :-)
I met him outside my place. My heart was beating so fast i wanted to throw up. The last time I was on a date-date was with Baby and that was three years ago... He IS HOT!!! YUMM YUMM.
When we got to my house I went to the kitchen to pour him a drink and i remember just throwing my hands up in victory of this catch. I was like "Thankyou Jesus!"

BUT THEN

One hour into the date, i was sooooooooo DIASAPPOINTED.
He was a nervous wreck. Couldnt look me in the eye, kept on trying to fill in all the quiet spaces of silence... he just wasnt as laid back and calm as I wanted /expected him to be. I'de picked this up from him when i'd talk to him over the phone but when I told Sassy about it, she told me to go on a first date before I'd swear him off cuz maybe he'de b better in person.

BFP is the perfect MAN. PERFECT. which is why i so mad. He's kind, sweet, big heart, bigger cock (i saw it through his aeronautical engineering official pants when he sat back)... He's foused in school, he;s looking for a long term relationship, he came to the kitchen twice and kissed me on my cheek twice while i was finishing up the cooking, he said i was beautiful atleast three times... but... he's what Sassy labeled as a 'Virgin plus one'.
Because of his not having played the field enough, the date at some point felt like a 16year old first awkward date. and that just killed all the chemistry that had been brewing between us.

He's perfect but lacks a little element,my chemical X that drives my nutz with all men aka, SWAG.

SOme girls dont need this ( in a relationship) but i honestly cannot be attrated to someone if they dont have it. I honestly from the bottom of my heart cannot. Otherwise we will be (just) friends.

After the date i went straight to talk to Bootyfull about it. oooh she laughed at me. I smoked two cigarettes in a row. Mayn DATING SUX.

He asked me how i felt about the date. I took an hour to decide that i would be honest wit him. I told him that i didnt feel the spark that i wanted to feel when i met him... He must have known where he was screwing up cuz he started apologizing for his random blubbering and all and asked if i would give him another date. I said, anything for you,yes. I didnt mean it.

There are just some things that are part of ones personality that one cannot get rid of, neither obtain a new.

Should I sit through the second date or cancel before things get more complicated?
please just hepl me!! :-/

Mayn, i really hoped that me and him would work..
Sulk.